Never Forgotten
by alambertcrazy
Summary: Adam Lambert isn't the typical teenage guy. There is 1 thing that he's looking for though that is normal at this age: love. Adam goes through his journey to find love. When a new kid arrives at school, Adam gets that love at first sight feeling. Sauli is everything that Adam wants in a guy. All of the various relationships are being tested & only the true ones make it through ok.
1. Prologue - The Story Of My Life

**Prologue - The Story Of My Life Chapter Text**

My heart is calling for him. 'Sauli, where are you? I can't live without you. You are everything to me. Please come back. What am I gonna do without you? Sauli, I'm in love with you. Don't leave without me.'

This is the first and only time I've been in love. I really haven't dated many people. Everyone who I get a crush on is taken by someone else or doesn't feel the same way about me. I've always been different than all the other kids my age. I was the laughingstock back in elementary and middle school. Kids would bully me. It was never physical, but it definitely hurt me mentally. Their crude remarks to the way I dress, who I hang out with, and the way I talk really hurt my self-esteem. I didn't ever expect myself to fall in love with someone. Well, I did and it changed my world around.

Some people don't believe in love at first sight. Yeah, it's not always right. In my situation, I saw it coming before my own eyes. There's always those relationships that sort of spring out from nowhere. My friends relationships are like that. I never would have expected them to be in the relationships they're in. I guess when people hide their feelings, you just might not even realize how they feel for you. I hid my feelings for him as long as I thought was necessary. I didn't want to scare him away. That's what most people think too. Some of the best relationships come from when the two people are really close friends and take it from there. It might not be who you've know the longest, but it could be that way too. We all need that little push to get us to where we want to be. My friends and I all seem to do that. I never expected any of this to happen. Love is taking me and them on a happy journey in life.


	2. Chapter 1 - Waiting For You

**Chapter 1 - Waiting For You**

Today seemed like an ordinary day. The sun is shining bright as I look outside my bedroom window. Wow, is is really 11:00 AM? This is much longer than what I usually sleep on a Saturday. I better check my phone to see if I have any new text messages. I am an addict to twitter. I just have to know when my favorite celebrity tweets or even when my best friends tweet. I have some of the weirdest friends. Tommy has always been my close friend. Tommy moved here to Los Angeles back in 3rd grade. He was a new student at our school. I figured he was new so I showed him around and we've been best friends since then.

Tommy's parents were very strict. It took a year for them to even like me. Tommy told me before that they told him "your friend Adam is a little on the strange side". Yeah, I am strange. I don't do things most people my age do. I am nowhere even close to being considered popular. I don't care though. The popular kids at my school all turn against each other. It always seems to be whose drama can outdo the others. I'm not into that kind of stuff. I'd rather sit home and write songs.

Tommy isn't my only friend, though. One of my other best friends is Jessica. It's really hard to describe Jessica because she is weird like me, also. Jessica's parents have mostly liked me. There's been times when we've gotten in these huge arguments which it took days to talk it out. We eventually would get over them. We'd argue over the smallest little things. Jessica has to be one of my biggest supporters when it comes to my music. She tries convincing me to try out for American Idol. I don't think I'm that good of a singer, though. She and I didn't even become friends until 5th grade.

Another one of my friends is Amanda. Amanda is Jessica's bestest friend. They've been friends long before I became friends with them. I was always kind of jealous of their friendship. Jessica and Amanda always have the weirdest conversations. They both are very random. It's never a good idea to give them both Mountain Dew. They get so hyper after drinking Mountain Dew and it kind of scares me. Amanda and I really aren't that close. We don't hate each other or anything. We just haven't had time to hang out without anyone else around. I think she would make a great best friend, along with Tommy and Jessica.

**_Beep Beep Beep_** Crap, my phone's going off and I'm trying to write a song. This better be worth stopping. Oh, Tommy just tweeted me and Jessica._"What are you guys doing today? Are you guys able to come over? Let me know." _Well, I have actual plans for today now. I can always continue writing my song later. Lol I know Jessica can't wait until I'm done with the song. The last song I wrote made her cry. Jessica sometimes gives me ideas for songs. She writes poetry, which can easily turn into lyrics for songs. Speaking of Jessica, I think she just texted me. _"When are you going over to Tommy's? Amanda and I will be going over around 1."_ I actually don't know when I'm going over to his house. Well, it's 12:30 PM right now, so I could quickly take a shower. I texted her back saying around 1 also.


	3. Chapter 2 - Freedom

**Chapter 2 - Freedom**

I arrived at Tommy's house and I swear his house gets bigger every time I visit. Tommy's parents are working so the only people left at his house are Jessica, Amanda, Tommy, and of course me. I wonder what we're going to do today. Usually when Jessica and I are over, we watch movies and Jessica usually ends up crying when it's one of those romantic-sad movies. Amanda hasn't been over to Tommy's house much. This might be her 2nd time over. _"You guys want to go on a walk? The weather is very nice out today,"_ Amanda said. _"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!"_ Tommy said.

Our walk was actually better than what I thought it would be. Tommy grabbed a bag of popcorn before we left and we all tried throwing the popcorn up in the air and catching them. I failed badly. Tommy was the best out of all of us. I started laughing when Amanda stole the bag from Tommy and started throwing the popcorn at Jessica. I've seen Amanda do this to Jessica many times and it never gets old. Jessica makes this weird moaning noise everytime Amanda throws some at her. Any time I need a good laugh, I always watch Amanda and Jessica. Those two always know how to have a good time.

We returned to Tommy's house and decided to watch a movie. We all let Amanda pick what movie she wanted since she hasn't been over here much. She chose Letters To Juliet, which is one of Jessica's favorites. Tommy and Jessica have seen it while Amanda and I haven't. Jessica sat in between Amanda and I. Tommy and Amanda were on the sides. We got to the part in the movie where the main character, Sophie, left Italy to go back to her home in the United States and Charlie runs after her because he loves her. I look over and I see Amanda crying into Jessica's shoulders. That's really sweet. I'm going to sneak a picture of this. Lol talk about a capture this moment. That part was really sad though. Jessica is even crying and she's seen this movie several times from what I've heard from her. I look over to Tommy and he just keeps eating those Doritos. Very classy, Tommy. Tommy's not much of an emotional person. In all my years of being his best friend, I've only seen him cry twice. The first time is when his grandpa died. The other time was when his life was a complete living hell for him because his parents grounded him. They even kept him out of school for a few days cause they wanted to have him have nothing he'd enjoy, including his friends.

We left Tommy's house because tomorrow is the first day of school. Tomorrow marks the start of our senior year. We all are seniors. I'm happy but then scared because I don't want to leave my friends once we're done with school. My schedule for this year is so boring. I don't see why I have to take any of these required classes. I don't want to take a lot of these classes, but mostly PE. The only classes I'm happy to take are both choir and creative writing. I just want to graduate high school. I don't know even if I'm going to go to college next year. I don't know what I want to become, besides a singer-songwriter anyway. That dream will probably go nowhere. I don't know anybody personally who has made it huge in the music business. I have no connections, which makes it super hard for someone as different as me.


	4. Chapter 3 - Back To The Normal

**Chapter 3 - Back To The Normal**

I really don't want to wake up this morning. Can't school start tomorrow instead? I better get up or I might be late to class. School isn't that bad when I see my friends. Great, none of my friends have the same first hour class with me. I'm looking around and I only have preppy, popular kids in my class. I'm going to be verbally bullied a lot. It's going to be elementary and middle school all over again. I can't wait for this semester to be over already. Maybe these kids won't even realize I'm here. Nobody has even looked at me yet. _"Mr. Lambert?"_ Crap, the teacher just had to call my name for attendance. I shouted _"here"_ and now everyone is looking at me. I was hoping none of these snotty brats would realize I'm in this class.

_"Hey, look everybody! Adam is in our class or should I say the gay guy."_ Not this again. Truth is that I am gay, but I've never came out with it. The popular kids in my grade have been calling me gay even before I realized I am. They call me that just to bully me. Those stupid a holes.

Some kid just walked in the classroom. I don't recognize him. I think he might be in the wrong class or something. He's standing there all awkwardly. _"Oh, Mr. Koskinen. We've been waiting for you. Class, this is Sauli. He came all the way from Finland to go to school here. Please treat him nice. Please take a seat, Sauli."_ Of course all the preppy kids are making fun of him. They just have to be mean to everyone. Sauli decided to take the desk right behind me. The preppy kids don't want to sit around me because they think I'm a faggot and have AIDS. It's amazing what people believe. I feel bad for Sauli. If he sits or is around me, these ass holes are going to bully him. I wish I could say something to him, but it'd make things worse.

As we were leaving class, I heard some of the popular kids talking to Sauli. _"Don't talk to that Adam guy. He's the one you were sitting behind. He's gay and probably just wants to have sex with you. He's a creep. Hang with us. We're all much better than him."_ These preps disgust me. I started walking to my next class and I realized I have all my friends in this class. Please don't tell me that Sauli is in this class too. What's he going to think of me now? Will he be scared of me if he thinks I'm gay? I hope not because I could be a much better friend to him than the popular kids. I will admit he is kind of cute, but I'm guessing he's straight and I don't want the preps to bully him because of me. I'm scared for him because I know how bad the popular kids get when it comes to bullying.

_"Hey look, we have a new kid in class. Maybe we should invite him to sit by us. He looks all lonely over there,"_ Jessica said. _"I wouldn't try Jess. The popular kids already got to him. They of course had to turn him against me by saying I'm gay,"_ I said. Amanda, Jessica, and Tommy all actually know that I am gay. They don't spread it around. They are all okay with it. Tommy isn't creeped out at all but he made sure that I'm not into him. I never liked Tommy like that and I never will. He's my friend. I really don't even remember when I realized I'm gay. I've known that I've been gay for about 4 years now.

_"I'll invite him over. We don't necessarily have to talk to him much. He's probably tired anyway. I'm sure switching time zones can really mess a person up."_ Amanda said. _"Okay. He can sit right in front of me. We'll have some distance between him and Adam so then they'll be less likely to bully him,"_ Tommy said. We all watched as Amanda walked over to him. I saw Sauli blush. That was pretty cute. Oh what am I saying? I just got to stay friends with him. Oh, here comes Amanda walking back towards up with him. What am I going to say if he talks to me? Maybe he won't talk to me. He's probably scared to even be around me.

_"Hey guys! This is Sauli. He just moved here from Finland. Sauli, this is Jessica, Tommy, and this is Adam,"_ Amanda said. He looks even more gorgeous in person. Snap out of it, Adam. He smiled at all of us and then went and sat down in front of Tommy. I realized that his eyes are really blue. It's a very beautiful shade of blue. I need to stop thinking of him. He shouldn't even be around me because he's just asking for trouble.


	5. Chapter 4 - Falling For Him

**Chapter 4 - Falling For Him**

I didn't see Sauli again until lunchtime. He was sitting by hemself and I felt sorry for him. Amanda, Jess, Tommy, and I decided to sit with him. He shouldn't get bullied as long as there's more of us. The preps will leave me alone if I have Tommy and Jessica around. I kind of think they are scared of them. They're not scared of me though. _"Hey, Adam. What are you listening to? I can slightly hear your music and the song seems familiar,"_ Sauli said. Oh my gosh, he just asked me a question. I love the way he says my name. He's got a cute little Finnish accent. Why is he staring at me strangely? Oh yeah, he asked me a question. _"Oh, sorry about that. It's "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry,"_ I said. I feel so embarrassed.

_"That's a great song. Katy Perry is one of my favorite singers. She's so fierce!"_ Sauli said. I don't think I can love Sauli more than I do now. Okay, maybe I can because I really don't know him too well yet. _"Finally someone agrees with me!"_ I said. Did I say that right? Sauli's laughing and his face is turning bright red. He does have quite an adorable laugh. I need to keep this to myself. I refuse to let him get bullied because he's with me. Besides, I don't think he's gay. He'd never like me like that. I'd be giving up all reality if I'd start believing I have a shot with him.

**_Ring _**Is lunch seriously over? I swear it just started. How do I know if I'll have any more classes with Sauli? I know I have Jessica and Amanda in the next class. I have Tommy in the class after that. I have no idea who is with me for my last period of the day. If I can just have someone I can get along with in that class, I'll be happy. That's my creative writing class. I should do fairly well in there. I just don't want all those preps in with me. They don't deserve to see my writing. If I ever become famous, I'm not even going to talk to them. They can kiss my butt and it still won't change anything.

It's finally time for my creative writing class. I've been looking forward to this class all day! I really hope I have someone I can talk to in here. Oh, Sauli's coming in here. Maybe he's confused on what class this is. _"Hey, Adam."_ he said as he sat down next to me. "_Hey, Sauli. Are you in this class? Writing is probably hard for you since you're not from around here,"_ I said. That sounded a little on the rude side. I didn't mean to say it like that. Crap, I'm an idiot. He probably hates me now and I don't blame him. _"Lol I might be from Finland but I do know a good amount of English. And since you're in here with me, you can help me if I need help translating," _he said. Me help him? He wants me to help him. That means study sessions, which means more time with him. I think I just might die. Wait, did he just flirt with me? No, I must be imagining things. There's no way Sauli likes me like that.

Creative writing was pretty boring to be honest. The only thing that kept me from sleeping was Sauli. The teacher just wanted us to write a paragraph on what we did during the summer. That doesn't help me when I didn't do much over the summer. I stayed in town and hung out with Tommy, Jessica, and Amanda. I did go see a Buckcherry concert though. That was pretty fun. They have always been one of my favorite bands. My favorite song of theirs is _"Sorry"._

Anyway, I was kinda obsessing over Sauli's handwriting. He writes so neat. I would swear he's known English his whole life and never even lived in Finland. I helped him a little because he didn't know how to explain his journey to the United States. I wonder if Jess, Amanda, and Tommy can tell I have a crush on Sauli. I don't think I've flirted with him. I'm worried I'll scare him away if I told him how I truly feel about him. This isn't the normal route. Jessica and I have kissed before, but we never dated or anything. Our kiss was after I told Jess that I was gay. She asked me if I was sure and I said yes. She asked if she could kiss me so then if I liked that, then I couldn't be gay. That would make me at least bisexual. We kissed and I felt nothing. Jess was okay that I didn't like her. She didn't like me like that. She just wanted me to be sure what I thought was correct, which it was. She's always looking out for me.

Oh my gosh. Why is Sauli standing in front of my locker? I was expecting him to go home by now. What could he possible want from me? He could like me and be waiting to ask me out on a date. Ha, like that would happen. _"Hey, Adam,"_ Sauli said. _"Hey, Sauli. What are you doing here still? Most people leave by now," _He replied, _"I'm just trying to get into my locker. It doesn't want to open this time." _He's trying to get into my locker. Lol that's pretty cute. I need to be nice when I tell him that he's trying to get into my locker. _"I think you got the wrong locker, Sauli. This is my locker you're trying to get into." I said. "Oops, sorry. Lol I must be right beside you then. I'll check my slip the office gave me." __**Checks slip **__"Yeah, I'm supposed to be locker 213. Yours is 212," _he said.

Okay, that is really cute. He's my locker neighbor. That means that I might see him whenever I go to my locker. If we ever date in high school, we can make out in front of our lockers. That would be amazing. I'm stuck in that trance again. I need to get back to reality. He and I are not going to happen. Even if we would, it would make his life more miserable. He'd get made fun of, bullied, and who knows what else might happen. My freshman year there was this gay couple and they did regular things couples do in the hallways at school. Well one day when the one guy was left alone without his boyfriend, they took him out of school and started attacking him. When he got home, he had multiple cuts, wounds, and bruises. He went to homeschooling because he was afraid this was going to happen again. I don't want that to happen to Sauli. He's too good to get sucked up in this mess.


	6. Chapter 5 - I'm Dying to Know

**Chapter 5 - I'm Dying to Know...**

I woke up the happiest I have been in a long while. My dreams last night were amazing. I had this dream that Sauli and I were on a date at an amusement park. I'm scared of heights and Sauli really wanted to go on this really high roller coaster. He kissed me and promised me that he'll hold onto me the whole ride. We went on it and it really wasn't that bad. I was clinging onto the Sauli the whole time. I felt safe in his arms. Now after having that dream, I'm really excited to go to school. School means that I can see and talk to Sauli. I really want to get to know Sauli more today. Yesterday our talks were pretty awkward. It's all my fault too.

_"Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!"_ Jessica shouted at me. I think Jess has had a little too much mountain dew already. _"Yes, Jessica. What happened this time?"_ I asked her. _"Don't you know? American Idol auditions are gonna be in San Diego on Saturday! You need to audition!"_ she said excitingly. This is when Jessica's support is off the roof. I'm unsure of I want to audition for that show. I'd be pubically humiliated. I'm not what that show wants for a winner. They's cut me off as soon as I make a mistake. They don't want a gay guy to win._ "Jessica, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I don't have much time to get a song ready. I also don't know if I'll have any homework Friday night. I can't afford to get behind during senior year. I want to graduate."_ I said.

_"Adam, this could be your big break. You've always wanted to make it out in the music business. Why not start now?"_ she said. Jessica is right. I know Tommy and Amanda are going to agree with her, too. I don't think it'd be a good idea to let Sauil know about this. I don't want to turn him away from me. If I ever would become famous, I wouldn't ditch my friends that I have now. The only way that would happen is if they'd only want to be around me because I'm famous. I don't see any of them doing that to me. I don't think Sauli would leave me, but I'm unsure what he'd do if I'd tell him I want to be a singer. He might think that I'd be one of those divas who only care about the money.

_"I'll think about it Jess. If I do audition, can you come with me no matter what? I don't mind if Tommy or Amanda come. I just want you there with me cause you'll stop me from chickening out,"_ I said. I could so see myself chickening out. I'm worried that I'm not good enough for that show. I am definitely no Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood. I really can't even stand country music. That's like the one genre that I know I'd never go to if I would become famous. My high voice could not make it good on the charts with the country guys. Their voices are so low._"Of course, Adam. I'm always here to support you and your music. I think Amanda wouldn't mind going with but Tommy might not since we know how he likes to play Call of Duty on weekends,"_ she said.

Sauli's sitting right beside me in our first hour class. Of course I can hear all the giggles from the preppy kids. They probably already think that Sauli is my boyfriend already. I swear if they touch him at all, I'm going to destroy them later. I have ways to ruin their lives forever. They don't know how I really am. The preppy kids don't even see me as a threat. I could be if I wanted to. I decided against that, though, in order to have the surprise attack if the time would ever call for it. There's no way I'm going to let Sauli take beatings and bullying for me.

Finally, it's lunchtime! I've been so hungry today and I have no reason why. I also know I'm excited to get half an hour to be able to talk to Sauli. I don't know what it is about him that makes me feel attracted to him. I do like him. I like him more than I should.

_"Sauli, there's been a couple things I've been wondering about you. Is it okay for me to ask you them?"_ I asked. I hope he doesn't get pissed at me. I think I said it and asked it very nicely. It's okay if he doesn't want me to ask. It does seem a little creepy. If he'd believe what these kids are saying, he's probably think I'm going to ask him to have sex with me. I will admit that idea's came in my head. I'm not going to even ask him for a long time. That's only if we're dating. I'm not gonna have sex with someone when I first start dating them. I want to be out of high school before I worry about that.

_"Ask away, Adam. I'll try to answer as best as I can,"_ he said. Yes, he's letting me ask the questions. I was so worried he was gonna turn me down because of what the preppy kids tell him. _"Do you have any brothers or sisters? You seen so happy, like you hang around little kids all the time,"_ I said. Oh my gosh, that last part did not come out right. He probably thinks I'm a creep now. I should've just left it at the question. _"Yeah, I actually have 2 younger sisters, 1 older brother and 1 younger brother. I'm about the middle child lol." _No wonder he always seems like he's happy. His younger siblings probably made him laugh earlier or something.

_"My other question is how were your friends back in Finland? Were you really close to them or did this move destroy your friendships?" _I asked. "_I honestly didn't have any good friends back in Finland. They would constantly lie to me and they'd exclude me from anything that the preppier kids in my old school would go to. I've really never fit in. I think I'll fit in here though," _he said. I always thought Sauli would be more of a popular kid. I thought him being friends with me would lower his popularity here. I guess I don't feel that terrible for him not fitting in with everybody else. That happened back in Finland for him, too.


	7. Chapter 6 - Something a Little Different

**Chapter 6 - Something a Little Different**

I'm having a wonderful day at school. I began learning more things about Sauli. He really is such a sweet guy. I'm sure he can tell that we're pretty closely alike. We kind of think the same way on things. Tommy brought up the LGBTQ during lunch. He had to explain what it meant for Sauli because he had no idea. After Tommy explained it, Sauli agreed that people should love whoever they want. He completely fits in with us now. It makes me love him even more. I'm sure that he's not gay but it makes me feel good that he's okay if I were ever to date a guy or even get married. He still doesn't know that I am gay. It's way too soon. I'd scare him away and that's the last thing I want to do.

Creative writing is the best class of the whole day today. The teacher gave us an assignment to write about whatever we wanted to. We had to keep in mind that anyone in the class could read it, so it helped limited people to write stupid stuff. I wrote about my grandma on my dad's side. I never got to know her. My dad always tells me how he sees some of her in me. He means it as a compliment. He tells me that she was never afraid to be who she really is. She never put on an act just to benefit other people. Of course she wasn't a leasbian since she married my uncle, but she was quite different from everyone else. My grandpa on my dad's side tells me that her laugh was one of a kind. That was one thing he loved about her.

_"Hey, Adam. I was wondering...do you have a phone? And if you do have one, do you have texting?"_ Sauli asked. Did he seriously just ask to text me? What's going on? I'm so confused. I really hope I'm not blushing right now. I don't want Sauli to think that I'm actually embarrassed right now. How can I not be embarrassed? The guy I have a crush on just asked me to text him. Why is he looking at me weirdly? I thought I answered him back, or did I? Crap, that was only in my mind. What am I supposed to do now? I said it so smooth in my head. I need to say something back though. I just need to say yes. Is that so hard for me to say? It's only one word.

_"Yeah, I do. My number is 376-942-0912. I have unlimited texting so feel free to text me whenever,"_ I said. Lol I hope that didn't sound like I was flirting with him. I should've just said the number. The rest of it made me sound like an idiot. _"Sounds good, Adam. I text quite a lot so you might be hearing a lot from me. I get bored pretty easily,"_ he said. He texts a lot? I wish I could just tell him that he can come over to my house whenever he wants. That would sound a little corny. I have to remember, it's not my time to flirt with him.

He smiled as he left the front doors of the school. Am I dreaming? It doesn't seem possible that he'd ask for my number and to text me. My life seems so surreal right now. It's as if I'm in one of those dreams that are too good to be true. I wonder how Sauli texts. He doesn't seem like the person who'd abbreviate every single word. That's not my style for sure. I really only abbreviate when I have to. Sauli is Finnish though. It'd kinda scare me if he'd text me in Finnish. I don't know any words in Finnish. He could swear at me for all I know. Sauli wouldn't swear to me. I know that because he's just so nice. Maybe I should ask him later to tutor me in Finnish. If I were to become famous, I'd be traaveling all around the world. I do believe that I'm capable of being one of the next popstars. I just need that push to get me there.

Now that I think about it, I will go audition for American Idol on Saturday. Jessica has told me multiple times that there's no way I wouldn't make it to Hollywood. I'm really worried about what Simon would say about me. I think Paula would be super nice like usual. My only problem is that I'm not what they want on the show. I've been in plays in the theater. My voice is much higher than most guys, especially high school guys. I have a widespread range that most people don't have. That is one of the reasons why Jessica says I can make it big. Jessica has even compared my voice to Elvis Presley, Freddie Mercury, and Michael Jackson. That is a huge honor for her to tell me that. Those 3 men are my musical inspirations. I've looked up to them for years.

I'm not ready to tell Sauli about my music dreams. I'm too scared to sing in front of him. I'd be super nervous and I sound terrible when I'm nervous. Jessica has heard me sing millions of times. That's why I don't get nervous singing in front of her. The other reason why I don't get nervous in front of Jess is because I don't have a crush on her. If I liked her like that, it'd make things more intense. I wouldn't want to screw up otherwise I would feel as if I failed her. She is really supportive and that's why she and I are so close.

**_Beep Beep Beep _**Oh look whose calling. It's Tommy. I'm guessing Jess and Amanda are with him. I know Tommy mentioned something about going shopping. Tommy never likes going shopping by himself. He always wants people to make sure he goods good in whatever he picks. Plus, he sometimes gets a little too caught up in the shopping spirit and spends all his money. There was like 5 close calls he had when we were shopping that he just barely had enough money to pay for everything he chose to buy. After the first time, I always make sure I have extra money when I go shopping with him. I know he'd pay me pack as soon as he could. _"Hey Tommy, what's up?"_ I asked. _"Not much, haha. I found this shirt that would look really good on you! Jessica and Amanda both agree with me on it. It's so your style. We're gonna get it for you,"_ he said. I knew I was right when I thought that Amanda and Jess would be with him. They found a shirt for me. I wonder what it looks like. I'm really into tops that are very tight fitting and that are unique. I really love leather objects too. That's one of my weaknesses. I also love clothing with the fake animal fur on. I really love leaopard fur. It looks so nice.

The weather is so nice that I'm going to walk from the school to my house. I live a good mile away but I could really use the exercise anyway. It's been about a half-hour since I've seen Sauli. I miss him already. I really want to text him but I don't want to seem like a stalker or creeper. I like Sauli a lot. The thing is that once he finds out that I really am gay, he's gonna be scared. He won't want to be around me. He'll tell me to delete his number and to never talk to him ever again. I can't let this happen. I won't ruin our friendship just because I find him attractive.

I always listen listen to music when I'm walking. It really helps me relax. I love walking because it helps me get my mind off of things. I like dreaming about things that will never happen. It's not like me and Sauli would ever happen. Nothing can stop me from dreaming though. If only we didn't live in a world that has a double standard on us. People like to say gay people should just go to hell. I don't see what we did to deserve treatment like this. We stay out of all these peoples' businesses. I don't see why we can't be with the person we love or whatever. Yeah, I'm aware of the Christian belief of being homosexual is a sin. There's many other sins though, not just this one. Why should I end up in hell for loving someone? Yeah, it doesn't really make any sense at all. If people would go to hell because of all of their sins, everyone would have a one-way ticket to hell since we all sin at some point. I just wish people wouldn't have to make my type seem like the bady guy. I'm just like everyone else. I just have a different approach when it comes to love.


	8. Chapter 7 - What's going on?

**Chapter 7 - What's Going On?**

A few days have gone by. Today is Saturday and I was so excited to sleep in today. That idea was ruined since somebody decided to text me. Okay, whoever it is seriously needs to learn to not text me before 9:00 AM on Saturdays and Sundays. **_Checks phone _**Oh my gosh! That was Sauli that texted me. No wonder why I got a text this early. I never have gotten a chance to tell Sauli that I hate being awakened on weekends before 9:00. I can't get mad at him though. He obviously doesn't know about that yet. I better see what he texted me before I go back to bed. This can't be happening. **_Reading the text message _**_"Good morning, Adam! I hope you slept well last night. I had a nice relaxing night. You can text me whenever you see this if you want." _I just realized today is Saturday! I need to get to the audition building as soon as I can. I almost forgot about this. I'm surprised I haven't heard anything from Jessica or Amanda yet. I should've gotten up at 5 so I could wait in line. I really wanted to be one of the first people to audition. I really should have remembered this.

I still have to shower and eat. Hmm, what time should I get there? I'm guessing there's already a huge line of people waiting to make it to Hollywood. I'll give myself an hour. I need to get out of my house by 9:30 AM. I should probably call Jessica. I know she needs to know what time to get there by. I will need someone to make sure I don't chicken out. I feel as if I'm going to be starstruck by Paula. She was the first concert I've ever gone to and she is one on my inspirations. Crap, what am I gonna wear today? I need to look good but not too formal. Umm, maybe I'll wear my leather jacket, a nice t-shirt, and some blue jeans. I need to keep it real anyway. I wonder what the judges are gonna say about me. I really just hope it's good feedback. Even if I don't make it, I'm sure they'll give me good advice to how I can become better. I really want to share my talent with the whole world. Hopefully my dream will come true today.

I'm done with my shower and now I'm ready to get going on my day. Oh, Sauli texted me earlier! I just remembered that! I need to say something back to him. I don't know what to say. Hmm, maybe I should just say _"morning :)"_ I think that sounds like a good idea. I just texted him back. Holy crap, that didn't take him long to reply. He asked me what I'm doing today. I can't tell him that I'm going to audition for American Idol. I'll just text him that I have some homework to do. O don't want to lie to him, but I don't want him to know that I'm auditioning for American Idol. He said okay. He was just curious for some reason. Oh gosh, maybe he wanted to hang out with me. I'm going to text him back saying I have nothing planned for tomorrow. That is the truth. I don't have to worry about hiding anything tomorrow. He said that maybe I could come over to his house and play some video games with him. I said yes obviously. I need to get going.

_"Hello?"_ Jessica replied. I have to have her on speakerphone so I can drive. _"Hey, Jessica. I just want you to know I'm heading out. Come meet me at the audition place. You know if Amanda is coming along?"_ I asked. I actually am curious. Amanda seems to be around Jessica a lot. I think it's cause they're really great friends. I understand that lol. Tommy and I were inseparable when we were in elementary school. _"Yeah, she's with me right now. We'll be on our way shortly. Oh and Tommy said he was going to go to if that was okay with you,"_ she said. I'm surprised Tommy would actually come. He definitely is a true friend of mine. I know he'd rather kill zombies on Call of Duty than go to the auditions. This means a lot to me. I know we have a great friendship. _"Yeah, that's okay with me. Just make sure he gets to the right place. Haha, we know how Tommy is with directions,"_ I said. _"Yeah, haha. Well I better let you go so we'll see you there. Bye,"_ she said._ "Bye."_

Is this real? Am I seriously going to audition for American Idol? This crowd is ridiculous. Everywhere I look, there's people. All these people are families, friends, and people who want this dream just like me. Am I good enough to make it through? There's usually about 40-50 people who make it at that city. I want to be one of them. I want this dream bad. I know I could show the world what I'm made of. The thing I've already prepared for is how the judges are going to take my theater background. They're going to be so surprised when they hear my high pitch singing voice. I was born to sing and to entertain people. I've always wanted to entertain people ever since I was a little kid. I remember my mom and dad used to have this box they stored the Halloween costumes in. They would leave it out all year round and I would go it in and put some of the costumes on. I really liked playing dress-up, which is strange for a young boy. My parents put me in theater because they wanted me to put my extra energy into something. I've starred in many plays and musicals during middle school and even high school. I'm not going to be in the one this year if I can make it to Hollywood. I know I'll be missing senior year, but it'd be worth it to live my dream.

Jessica and Tommy need to hurry up and get here. The crowd is very intimidating. There's some high school girls from all over the United States here to auditon. There's been a few that have flirted with me. It's hard for me to let them down easily. I'm not going to date them obviously since I'm into Sauli, but I need to let them down nicely. They also don't need to know that I'm gay. I've had to lie and say I'm already into a serious and committed relationship right now. They understand that scenario. Some of them still want my number though. Haha, I'll take their number but I'm not going to give them mine or even text them. I'll just give their number to any of my friends that are looking for a relationship. Tommy's not in a relationship with anyone. Maybe he'll want some girls' numbers. I don't know if he's exactly looking for a relationship right now though. Tommy seems to focus a lot of time in his guitar. He really wants to make it famous someday. Heck, maybe if I make a music career, I'll sign him to be my guitarist. He would have to audition though. I don't want to hire him just because he's my friend. He needs to be great to play at that level of entertainment. I have faith in him, though.

Is that Jessica and Amanda over there? Oh my gosh, it is them! Finally, now these girls should back off. I know Jessica would pretend to be my girlfriend if I'd ask her to. She's actually not that bad of a kisser, but I still don't like her like that. I know sometimes she has a little crush on me because she's always calling me cute and hot. She respects my wishes though. She knows that there's someone for her out there, she just hasn't met them yet. _"Jessica, over here!"_ I shouted. I see her looking over for me. I probably should text her exactly where I'm at. I don't want her to be looking around forever. I just sent her a text. Hopefully she can see the person with the rainbow umbrella in front of me. The girl in front of me must really want to make a statement with that umbrella. It's not really hot out so she doesn't need it to keep her cool in the heat. It's also not raining so she doesn't need it to protect her from the rain. I really do like the rainbow pattern though. In the LGBT community, rainbow is a symbol that we're all different but we should all be equal.

Oh good, Amanda noticed me. I can see her dragging Jessica over to me. I kind of wonder when Tommy's going to get here. It really makes me happy that all of my close friends are going to support me with this. My family would be here, but my mom had to work and my dad has the flu. I really hope I can make it to Hollywood so I'll call my dad and tell him that I made it. I know my parents will be so proud of me, whether I make it to Hollywood or not. _"Adam! Are you excited?"_ Jessica asked. That's a stupid question to ask haha. It's like yeah, I'm excited! That's why I'm probably smiling like an idiot. _"Of course I'm excited, Jess. I'm just nervous about how the judges are going to take me. I don't want them to be too harsh to me,"_ I said. That is my biggest worry about the whole auditioning thing. I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of Randy, Paula, Simon, and Kara. They all have made such a huge impact in the music business.

_"Yeah, I bet your nerves are off the walls. You're gonna do great though, Adam. The way Jessica says you sing, you are bound to make it to Hollywood. Plus, you do have good looks so a lot of America would love to see your face on television,"_ Amanda said. She must have said that a little on th loud side because now everyone around is staring at me. At least that sounded like Amanda was flirting with me so maybe the high school girls will back off on me. I really don't want these girls to hit on me. I hate that disappointed look I get whenever I have to turn them down. It hurts a lot. I hate feeling bad about it but I always do. I can relate to it as if I was flirting with Sauli and he would turn me down. I'd be so depressed. I don't know what I'd do then. I love Sauli and I don't want him out of my life. That's why I'm staying just friends with him now. I can't imagine him out of my life.

Tommy's on his way over to us since he just got here. It's about time, haha. We're almost to the enterence of the building. I'm freaking out right now. I really just want to run away from this. This is so nerve racking. I might just faint. Soon, I'll be standing in front of the judges. I'll be singing for them and they determine whether my music career is going anywhere. This audition is all or nothing. I either will make it to Hollywood or be shot down. The worst case scenario is that my audition would be so bad that American Idol world air it on the auditions episodes and it would make me look terrible. I really don't want that to happen. That would be what would ruin my chance at a music career. Nobody would want to sign me if I made a fool of myself on television to the whole world.


	9. Chapter 8 - All or Nothing

**Chapter 8 - All or Nothing**

We've finally made it into the building. I can see Ryan Seacrest. There is seriously a massive number of people in here. It's a good thing I'm not claustrophobic. I would probably run away if I was. There's barely any breathing room in here. Jessica, Tommy, Amanda, and I are all shoulder-to-shoulder. That's how compacted it is in here. I'm looking around and I can tell what people are probably going to make it Hollywood. I wonder what people think of me when they see me. Jessica has told me before that I look like a model. I laughed when she told me that. I don't think I'm that good looking. According to Jessica, the girls at our school would be all over me if they didn't think I was gay. I'm kind of glad they leave me alone though. I don't want to be friends with any of them.

There's only about 10 people auditioning ahead of me. I'm almost in front of the judges. There's no backing out now. Jessica can tell that I'm really nervous. _"Adam, you're going to do great. The song you picked is perfect with your voice. You'll do them justice. The judges are going to be blown away from your talent. You do what you do best and sing,"_ said Jessica. That pep talk really did help me. _"Thanks, Jess. I'm going to do my best not just for me, but for all of of you guys. You guys are all my close friends and I wouldn't be here auditioning without each of you guys' support. I love you, each of you." _I meant everything that I just said. I have the best friends that I could ever ask for. They always have my back.

_"You're going to kill it, Adam. We all believe in you,"_ Amanda said._ "I know you all do. This is very nerve racking though. I only get one shot at this. I need to make it my best because this means all or nothing for my shot in the music business." _That is what I'm thinking right now. I can't mess up. I didn't come here to audition and be shot down. I came here and waited for my chance to make it to Hollywood. I believe I can do it. Everyone who's heard me sing knows I'm good and tells me that I'm good. The judges can't possibly be so closed-minded, right? They'll give me another shot, I hope, even if I do somewhat bad for my audition. I think I'd be a worthy competitor.

There's only 1 person ahead of me now. My time to shine is almost here. I started thinking of my parents, Leila and Eber. I know they both wish they could be here but they both have to work. I understand the reason so I'm okay with it. They should be doing their jobs. I'll call them and surprise them at work. Haha, I can think of how my mom is going to react. She's gonna scream and then start crying. I can see it now. _"My baby boy is going to Hollywood!"_ she will yell. She always gets so excited when something amazing happens to me. Everytime I get a lead in a play or musical, she starts bawling her eyes out. She really is supportive with me in whatever I do. She was one of the first ones to know that I'm gay. She always tell me that she knew I was even before she asked me about it. She loves me and wouldn't change a thing about me at all. I love my parents so much. I'd be nowhere without them.

Ryan's coming over here to talk to us. Jessica might freak out. Jessica used to have the biggest crush on Ryan Seacrest. She's over him now, or I at least think she is. You never know what's going through Jessica's mind. She is usually unpredictable unless she's pissed. Then you can tell how she's feeling and maybe what she's thinking. I'm kind of like that, too. I'm good at hiding my feelings. As you can tell with Sauli so far, my feelings have stayed hidden. I'm probably going to freeze when I'm in front of Paula. I'm going to be starstruck because of her. She is one of the greatest musicians. It's an honor to get to perform in front of someone with that amount of talent and skill.

_"Hey, how are you today, Adam is it?"_ Ryan asked me. Yeah, Jessica's kind of going crazy. I see her melting inside. _"I'm great, Ryan. Yeah, it's Adam. I'm Adam Lambert. These are my friends Tommy, Amanda, and Jessica,"_ I said. _"It's nice to meet all of you. Adam, is your friend Jessica okay? She looks shaky,"_ he said. "_Yeah, she's okay. She used to have this huge crush on you so that's probably why she's shaky, right Jess?" __**Jess nods.**__ "Come here, Jessica. Give me a hug,"_ Ryan said. I could just see the excitement on Jessica's face. This was like a dream come true for her. Yeah, Ryan is much older than us. She can always dream about it, right? I dream about being with Sauli all the time and it doesn't hurt me one bit. This is so cute! Jessica started crying in his arms. That's priceless. Ryan doesn't seem to care much. I think he kind of likes this attention from Jessica. I mean, she is pretty attractive. Jessica looks so beautiful with her short, brown hair. She doesn't know that these guys find her adoarble. She's so shy unless she's comfortable talking to other people. The purple eyeliner she's wearing and this really pretty blue eye shadow really brings out the sparkle in her eyes.

_"Well, Adam, it looks like you're up. Just step right in through these doors. Good luck!"_ Ryan said. _"Give them everything you got! You're going to do amazing,_" Tommy said. _"Thanks guys. Well, I better get going. I'll see you guys in a bit,_" I said. I started walking towards the doors. I looked back at my friends as I was about to enter into my greatest challenge to date. I can do this. My friends believe in me. My parents believe in me. There's nothing that will hold me back time to give the judges something they will never forget as long as they shall live.

**_Enters in the room_**This room is huge. Am I sure I'm ready for this? Well, this is my time. I step right on the platform for where they have the contestants go. I look up and my eyes are greeted by all four judges. This is really happening. _"Hello. What's your name?"_ Kara asked. _"Hi, my name is Adam. Adam Lambert to be precise." "What are you going to sing for us today, Adam?"_ Randy asked. _"I'm going to do "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen." I said. "Whenever you're ready," _Simon I go. My years of singing now take into affect now.

**_Singing *Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger, now he's dead. _**_**Mama, life had just begun. But now I've gone and thrown it all away**_**_*_**

I don't knowwhat to think. I just sang in front of Simon, Paula, Randy, and Randy. Why is it so quiet? Are they not saying anything because I was great or because I was terrible? Simon is giving me this weird look. His facial expression almost would look like that face after you eat something sour. That scares me a bit. I hope I wasn't that bad.

_"I think you're a good singer. You're one of the most diverse singers we've heard,"_ Paula said._ "I think you are theatrical," _Simon said. _"To me, you are a good singer. I think it's time, probably currently like someone like you,"_ Randy said. _"Okay, let's vote. Randy, yes or no? "_ SImon asked. _"I'm going to say yes. I like this guy,"_ Randy said. _"Thank you,"_ I said quietly. "I'm going to say yes too," Simon said. _"I was gonna say yes before he said yes, so yes,"_ Kara said. _"So make that 3 yes's,"_ Simon said. _"Make that 4 yes's. I think you're brilliant. You're brilliant,"_ Paula said. _"You're going to Hollywood!"_ Randy shouted. Oh my gosh, I can't believe this. This is a dream come true. I thanked the judges as I left the audition room. I got my golden ticket. It feels incredible to be able to have this. I'm going to surprise them when I come out. This should be fun.

I hid my ticket under my shirt. I make my way to the doors and I give them this disappointed look. Jessica looks like she's going to cry. She starts moving towards me like she's gonna hug me. Okay, let's see how they take this. I'm slowly pulling my golden ticket out now. Everyone can see it now. _"Adam! You made it! Oh my gosh, this is amazing!_" Jessica yelled. _"Congratulations, Adam. I can't wait to see you in Hollywood,"_ Ryan said.

Wait, what's going on? Jess was going to come over to hug me when she thought I wasn't going to Hollywood. She's just standing over by Amanda and Tommy. I think they all are doing a happy dance. Awe, that's so sweet of them. I look away for just one second. Before I knew it, I looked over back at my friends and realized that 2 of them are kissing. What the heck? Who's Tommy kissing? I can't see who it is. I know that has to be either Amanda or Jessica. I need to see the face. They must be done. Let's find out who Tommy was kissing. Oh my god, he and Jessica were kissing! This doesn't make sense though. I thought Tommy and Jessica were friends. They never seemed to like each other like that. I think that kiss was a surprise by both of them. It definitely caught me off guard. I'll have to find out what that was about later. We need to get out of here, before something more insane happens. Good thing I don't think Ryan saw that. I know Amanda saw it though. She's probably just as shocked as me.

I better go call my parents. They're going to freak out for sure. They've always wanted to see me happy doing something I love to do and they know singing is something that's really important to me. Who should I call first though? I don't want to pick favorites. Wait a mintute! I can use Tommy's phone so I can call them both at the same time! That's like the best plan I've had in a while._ "Hey Tommy, can I use your phone to call my dad? I want to tell them both the good news at the same time and this is what I came up with." "Yeah, sure Adam. I'll get it ready. Which parent do you wanna call on mine?" _Tommy asked. "_I was thinking my dad since I am kind of a momma's boy," _I said. _"Okay. You are such a momma's boy. That's why whoever you end up with in the future will be lucky to have you,"_ he said. _"Thanks, Tommy. What you just said means a lot to me," _I said.

**_Calling both parents and they answer_**_ "Mom, dad, I'm going to Hollywood! I made it! I'm so happy right now! This is all I've ever wanted in life and now I'll be living the dream very soon!" _I shouted. I'm waiting a second for them to take in the news. Oh here we go. Mom just started her excited scream. I knew that was coming. _"I'm so very proud of you, Adam. My baby boy's going to be off his way to Hollywood soon,"_ my mom said._"Congrats, Adam! We will celebrate this tonight. Leila, I'm thinking we let Adam have some friends over tonight and have a little party. What do you think?"_ my dad asked. _"I think that's a great idea! Adam, think of some friends you'll want over tonight and get them over to our hose for a party,"_my mom said. "_Okay, thanks guys. You're the best parents I could ever ask for. I love you both so much!"_ I shouted. _"We love you too, Adam. We'll talk to you later, okay?"_ they asked me. _"Yeah, talk to you later. Bye love you guys."_ _"Love you too, Adam,"_ they said.

Who should I invite to my party tonight? I obviously want Amanda, Jessica, and Tommy there. I really want to invite Sauli to come but he doesn't know I auditioned. Well, maybe Sauli wouldn't have to know that I auditioned. It could just be a party, right? What am I saying? Sauli needs to know what is happening. I'm not going to surprise him when I leave the middle of the school year. That wouldn't be nice for me to do. I guess Sauli will find out tonight. I just hope he's not pissed at me for not telling him about me auditioning. I am scared to tell him. What if he thinks that I'm going to forget about all my friends and only care about myself? Would he even want to try to be my friend anymore if he'd think that? I'm surprised that Sauli hasn't texted me again since this morning. I would have thought that he would.

I think it's time to tell Jess and them about the party tonight. I wonder if Amanda will ask me to ask Tommy and Jessica about that kiss. I would assume that was a spur-of-the-moment type of thing. Neither of them have shown feelings toward each other ever before today. I just find it kind of strange. It's not like Jessica to draw attention to herself like that. She doesn't like being in the spotlight. She prefers to play it low key. Jessica is one of those people who will just watch and observe people. She usually is great at determining people's qualities. She calls herself an empath, which is a pyschic quality. She's shown me the info about what an empath is and that really does sound like her. She does care about people and can usually get a sense about every single person. She knows who not to trust, usually. She's been wrong a few times I've heard. She can also sometimes predict when something bad is going to happen.

_"Guys, you will not believe what my parents are letting me have tonight!"_ I said. _"Let me guess, steak?"_ Tommy asked. _"No, a party!"_ _"Oh my gosh, Adam! This is incredible! Who are you all inviting?"_ Amanda asked. _"I don't know yet, haha,"_ I said. _"Well, I'm hoping we're all invited,"_ Jessica said with a smile. _"Of course you guys are. You're here with me when I auditioned,"_ I said.

I can tell tonight is going to be a great night. A party with all my friends will be so fun. I did text Sauli a few minutes ago telling him about the party. He told me he's in so I texted him back with my address and then the time of the party. Jessica is going to be the first one over. She wants me to help her with make-up. She tells me I'm a pro at applying make-up so I help Jess when she asks me. I don't think I'm a pro but Jessica tells me otherwise. My parents are going to leave for the party. They trust me completely. They have no concerns about me or my friends. They know that I'm a good kid and I haven't really ever done anything to make them not trust me. I don't sneak out of the house. I don't lie about who I'm hanging with. I also answer all texts and calls when they call or text me. I also don't try to make up excuses for things, especially if they're important. The last time I really got in trouble was when I went out on a walk and they wondered where I was at because I didn't tell them right away. I was only grounded for a few days though. I have the best parents ever, so I treat them with respect since I am blessed to have such great parents.

We're on the way back to my house right now. I can't wait for the party later tonight. This is going to be a blast. I'm going to have maybe a good 6 people here at the party. Jessica, Amanda, Tommy, Sauli, Kaylee, and Kelsey right now is everyone who's invited. Kaylee and Kelsey are a couple of Jessica's friends. They don't go to our school. Jessica met them at church camp and they are really both nice. I've met them once before and they were pretty nice to me.


	10. Chapter 9: Start of Something Beautiful

**Chapter 9 - The Beginning of Something Beautiful**

It is 6 P.M. and the party will start in like an hour. Jessica just arrived so I could help her with applying makeup. I don't think I'm going to ask her about that kiss with Tommy yet. She and Tommy have no idea that either Amanda or I saw them kissing. They probably didn't want us to know. They'd tell us if they were dating, I'm hoping. Jessica tells me like everything.

_"Jessica, what are you thinking of wearing so I know what colors would look best on you,"_ I said. _"Well, I have this yellow and black dress that I have ready to wear,"_ Jessica said. _"Hmm, I have the perfect idea. You have to trust me though. I know this is going to make you look totally gorgeous,"_ I said. _"I trust you 100%, Adam. Work your magic on me,"_ she said.

Jessica looks stunningly beautiful. Her short brown hair and blue eyes are really enhanced by the makeup I added on her. Her eyes are sparkly blue. If I was straight, I would so try getting her to be my girlfriend. Good thing there's not going to be many guys here. They'd be all over her and I'd have to be all big brother towards her. I know what guys are thinking and there is no way I'm going to allow Jess to be with an idiot of a guy. I'd be totally cool with Jessica and Tommy dating. I mean, they're friends and I know Tommy isn't an asshole. Tommy would be a total gentleman to her. He already is and they're not even dating.

It's 7:00 P.M. and now everyone is starting to arrive. Amanda was the second one here. She came wearing a long, red dress. She didn't put any makeup on but she looks good even in the natural state. She's got medium-length brown hair and these blue-green eyes. The color red goes good with her. Tommy just got here. Tommy actually decided to be formal tonight. I wonder if it's because of Jess. I'm going to leave them alone about that. If they want to announce that they're dating, they will. I'm not going to force them to tell if they are or not. Tommy could have just wanted to be formal tonight. You never know with Tommy. He likes to keep all of us in suspense.

I can't believe this. Sauli did decide to come. I thought he probably wouldn't come just because he doesn't really know me or any of us yet. I've never met any of his family. I'm sure his mom and dad are nice. Sauli's such a kind person and usually kind people come from good families. Sauli is also dressed up a little more formal tonight. He is wearing a suit with a leather jacket. His leather jacket looks a little like mine in a way. I really like it. He looks so hot right now. I'm not even lying about that.

Jessica's friends Kelsey and Kaylee have arrived. I can't believe I'm actually haveing a party. Mom and dad must be really happy to let me do something as amazing and cool as this. This is actually the only second party I've ever had in my life. My birthday "parties" usually just consist of my family and me. I've never had a huge amount of friends. Ever since that "rumor" went around about me being gay, not many people have been nice to me. It's sad what people discriminate against. I don't think it should matter what orientation I am. It should matter that I am a nice guy. I truly do my best in all that I do.


	11. Chapter 10 - Too Good to be True

** Chapter 10 - Too Good to be True**

Sauli is still looking at me with a straight face. I really wish he'd just say something. Oh wait, he's starting to smile. _"Adam, that's just amazing! You must be pretty good to make it on a show like that. Is there any way you can give me a taste of what America gets to look forward to?"_ Sauli asked. Oh my, Sauli's happy about it. He wants to hear me sing right now. Holy cow, I'm so nervous. I'm more nervous to sing in front of Sauli alone than I was in front of the judges. I can feel the room getting hotter. I must sing though, for Sauli.

_**Singing *I wanna rock with you, all night. Dance you into day, sunlight. I wanna rock with you all night. We're gonna rock the night away***_

**__**I had my eyes closed the whole time I sang. I open my eyes and look at Sauli. Oh god, I must have said something that insulted him. He's crying. I must be terrible. I knew it. This was a huge mistake. The judges probably only allowed me on the show to humiliate myself. _"Sauli, I'm sorry for whatever I said that upset you. I have a strange way of wording things,"_ I said. After hearing my voice, Sauli wiped away his tears. Oh, his blue eyes are so pretty. _"Adam, the reason why I'm crying isn't because of what you said. I'm crying because your voice is so incredible. I could tell all the emotion you put behind your voice. It was so clear, so smooth, and so perfect,"_ Sauli said. Did I hear that correctly? Sauli loved my voice? I guess I am that good._ "You aren't angry at me for getting on the show, are you? If I become famous, I won't forget about my friends that I have now. I'd let you guys have as much stardom as you want,"_ I said. Sauli's walking closer to me. What's going on? Should I be worried? _"Adam, I know you won't forget about us. Come here, I need to give you a hug,"_ he said. Sauli came up to me and hugged me. This is the closest I've ever been to him. I can smell his cologne. It smells so good.

I'm about to pull away from the hug when Sauli pulled me back in. He caressed his hands in my hair. This seems so strange, but in a good away. Sauli is staring me down in the eyes. I don't know what's going on. I was about to pull away again. Sauli noticed again. This time he grabbed my hand and started rubbing it. I hope this isn't a trick or anything. This is weird behavior coming from Sauli. Sauli smiled at me and of course I smiled back at him. He pulled me so close to him in this hug._ "Sauli, what's...,"_ I said. Before I could continue my sentence, Sauli brought his lips to mine. We're kissing. Oh my god, I think I might just die. I can see the fireworks going off in my mind. I never thought Sauli liked me like this. Why did he choose to kiss me now? If he knew I was gay, why didn't he tell me he was?

Sauli pulled away about after a minute. That was the best minute I've ever had in my life. _"Sorry about that, Adam. That was totally an obnoxious thing for me to do,"_ Sauli said. Obnoxious, how is that obnoxious? That was the best moment in my life. That was even better than making it on American Idol in my eyes. How am I supposed to tell him I liked it? Well, here goes nothing. _"Sauli, that was not obnoxious. Does this mean you...have feelings for me?"_ I asked. I hope he does secretly. I'm not going to push my luck, though. He's smiling at me. I think that's a good sign. _"Adam, yes I do have feelings for you. I must admit when I got here, I developed a crush on you the moment I saw you. I thought that a guy as hot and cute as you would be taken by some preppy cheerleader or something. When some of the students said you were gay, I was hoping that you were. I was never scared by the idea that you could be. Well, you seemed totally nice. You right now are my best friend. I have liked you from day one, but I didn't want to tell you because I was nervous. After hearing you sing with that much emotion, I knew that I was right when I fell for you. You are like the perfect guy. And well, I love you,"_ Sauli said.

There is absolutely no way this is real life. I keep pinching myself to wake up from this incredible dream. The thing is that I'm still in the exact same place as I was in the dream. This isn't a dream, this is my reality. Sauli and I just kissed. Sauli pronounced his love for me. This is all too good to be real, but I know this has to be. Sauli backed up a bit from me. He probably wishes he could read my mind right now. I need to tell him how I feel too. If I don't let him know, then how are we supposed to go anywhere, in our friendship or in a relationship? Why am I crying? I'm happy that I can be with Sauli. What am I so worried about? Oh yeah, I don't want him to get bullied because he's my boyfriend.

_"Sauli, words cannot describe how happy I am right now. I want you to know that I fell for you when I first saw you. I'm scared for you, Sauli. The kids at our school are crude when it comes to people like us. I have been beat up before because I'm gay and they honestly don't know if I am gay or not. It started out as a rumor in middle school and it is still going around. I actually am gay. I wanted you to be mine but I stopped myself because I don't want you to get hurt. I will seriously be very protective of you if people think they can bully you. You are the only person I've truly had feelings for. There's so much about me that you don't even know. I want you to be mine, Sauli. That kiss had me feeling that spark people always talk about. I saw my whole future flash before me. I saw you and me, living together, and maybe raising a family. I want you so bad, but I understand if you don't want to be together. I'm just worried for you. I love you, Sauli,_" I said.

_"Adam, I understand that you don't want me to get hurt. But Adam, I want you. I am tired of acting like I'm somebody who I'm not. I love you and I want to show the whole world that I do. I feel that this is what I'm supposed to do with my life. I don't care what other people say about it. There's going to be people who judge us even though they don't know us. Are we supposed to please everyone else? I don't think so. I think you and me could be perfect together. I mean, yeah we'll have some misunderstandings but I could never stop loving you. Adam, will you go out with me?"_ Sauli asked.

He asked me out. Sauli asked me out. Of course I want to go out with him. What will Jessica, Tommy, and Amanda think? If I say yes, we'd go back out to them and then what? Are we going to tell them right then and there that we're dating? I know none of them know that I've been secretly in love with Sauli since day one. I made it very hard for them to figure it out. They will be in for a shock. I can't skip the chance to date Sauli. He's all I've wanted my whole life.

_"I will go out with you, Sauli. How do you want to tell Jess, Amanda, and Tommy? We don't want to come out too strong with them. We can't just go out there and start kissing. I don't know how we'd break it to them lightly. I was thinking we could come out holding hands and then I could tell them that we had a long talk which led to some deep secrets being let out. I can say that we both came out saying that we love each other and that we thought dating wouldn't be such a bad idea," _I said._ "Let's do this," _Sauli said.

Sauli grabbed my hand as we made our way into the living room. This is it. It's too late to go back now. These are my friends in the other room but I still feel nervous to about they will think about Sauli and I dating. Since we're dating, they might think that we'll only want to be with each other and nobody else all the time. That is totally untrue, at least for me. I love Sauli but I'm not going to give up my bffs just to be with him. I know Sauli wouldn't let me either. I mentally have prepared myself for how they all will react to this. If someone's angry or pissed about it, I'm ready to be given a lecture. I would listen to what they have to say. If their only argument for not wanting me to be with Sauli is that it'll ruin my friendship with him, I'd go and tell them how exactly I feel for him. Sauli will always be my friend no matter what would happen with us. If we'd break up, I'd still hope to stay great friends with him.

Sauli smiled at me as we left the kitchen and entered the living room. Nobody has noticed us at. The song "Hell Yeah" by Midnight Red is playing on the speakers. That song is such a party song. Jessica is the person who showed us it. She freaked out when she saw on twitter that a famous boy band followed her. Midnight Red is this boy band made up of 5 members. There members are Thomas, Eric, Joey, Anthony, and Colton. Jessica is like completely obsessed with Thomas and Anthony. She lately has gotten ever more obsessed with the band. She really wants to see them in concert. She claims that it would be one of the huge highlights of her life. The song stopped and they all looked over at us. Here Sauli and I are holding hands and smiling at each other. I look over at Tommy and he is completely confused. His facial expression is filled with curiosity.

_"Hey, everyone. Yes, I know you're all wondering why we were gone so long. First I need to tell you that I didn't tell Sauli the true reason why I'm having this party tonight. I told him and he was shocked by the news, but in a good way. Sauli really wanted to hear my singing voice, so I gave him a preview for American Idol. He was so happy that he started crying. He, well, kissed me and took me by surprise. There was some awkward silence and then he told me that he's always been interested in me. None of you guys know this, but I have been interested in him from the second I saw him. I had to keep it secret because I didn't want to get any crap from anyone about it. I'm in love with Sauli and he's in love with me. Sauli and I are dating. I hope you all aren't mad about this or anything. I promise that our relationship will not ruin any of our friendships. Please, be happy for us,"_ I said.

_"Did I miss something?"_ Brittney asked as she walking through the door. Brittney moved here the same time Sauli did but I really haven't talked to her. Brittney is one of Jessica's and Amanda's friends. They must have invited her to the party. She showed up fashionably late. That would be something that I would totally do. She has the best timing too. I have no clue if she believes in gay relationships or not. I really hope she believes in them. I can't judge her at all because I know nothing about her.

_"Here, I'll go catch her up, Adam. You need to be in here talking to everyone. I got this,"_ Jessica said. _"Thanks, Jess,"_ I said. Jessica walked out of the room with Brittney. Jessica nodded towards me. I know she'll do an incredible job at making the situation make sense. Jessica has a way with words since she is a writer. If anybody could convince anybody that gay relationships are okay, that would be Jess. She might be straight but when she sees how bullied I get for people just assuming I'm gay, she has taken a serious interest into the subject. Jessica is perfectly fine with me being in a relationship with Sauli I know. She is kind of amused with guy-on-guy things. She's probably envisioning about Sauli and I kissing and probably other stuff knowing her. She's got a kind of dirty mind but it's all okay with me. I wouldn't change her a bit.

_"Anybody have any concerns about us? Now's your time to speak,"_ I said. I looked around and all I could see was smiles. Nobody is angry at us. _"I'm just so happy for you two. I think you guys are like perfect for each other,"_ Tommy said._ "Yeah, we all couldn't be more happy for this. You look so in love right now, Adam. I haven't seen you this happy ever since I've gotten to know you,"_ Amanda said. "_Thanks you guys. I am super happy right now. Sauli, I know our time together will always be special to me. I love you and I can't wait to know even more about you. I hope our journey of love takes us to somewhere very prosperous in joy and love. Oh, and I love the way how you say my name. Your accent is oh-so-adorable,"_ I said.

Sauli looked over at me, smiled, and then kissed me. Amanda and Tommy both watched. Jessica's going to wish that she was here to see that. Once she hears that Sauli and I kissed in front of Amanda and Tommy, she's going to freak. She'll probably ask for us to kiss again. I have no argument against that. I already know I love kissing Sauli and we've only kissed twice. Both times we've kissed, I've felt this spark. It feels like I'm in heaven when we kiss. It really is a magical moment. Sauli's lips are so fucking sexy. Mmm.


	12. Chapter 11 - Hell Yeah

** Chapter 11 - Hell Yeah**

_"What did I miss?"_ Jessica asked. She just came back into the living room with Brittney. Of course Jess wants to know what just happened. I don't think now is the time to tell her though. _"I'll you you later. Let's get back to partying,"_ I said. I turned the music all the way back up. I looked over towards Tommy to see if anything new is going on with him, dealing with Jessica. I still wonder what happened earlier today with them kissing. I want to ask, but I don't want Tommy or Jess freaking out on me about it. They have no idea that Amanda or I saw it happen. Jessica decided to dance with Sauli. I'm not worried about her taking him away from me. I know Jess would never do that to me. She's probably just trying to get Sauli to tell about what happened when she was out of the room. I don't think Sauli's going to tell though. He looks like he's having a lot of fun dancing with Jess. I wonder if he'd be this happy if I was dancing with him. He loves me more than Jess. He sees her as like a sister, just like I do. I know if things wouldn't work out between Sauli and I that Jessica wouldn't go seek revenge on him or anything. Jessica ultimately wants me and all her other friends happy.

_"Hey, is it my turn to dance with Sauli?"_ I asked. _"Of course, Adam. Sorry I just wanted to dance with him for 1 song,"_ Jessica said._ "I know. Let's go Sauli. I think you'll like this next song," _I said. The next song started playing. It's one of my favorites. It's called "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri. I grabbed Sauli's hand as we made our way towards the center of the room. Since this is a couple's song, everyone grabbed a partner. I'm surprised Jessica and Tommy didn't go together. Amanda and Jessica were slow dancing together. Tommy paired up with Brittney, which I was surprised about. Lastly, Kelsey and Kaylee teamed up. It looked like Sauli and I were the only serious couple. Jessica and Amanda were giggling about the whole time. I could tell they saw this as a joke. That's okay though. They're not a couple so they really don't have to be all serious about a slow dance.

The song finished and Jessica and Amanda went out of the room to talk. Oh gosh, I bet Amanda is finally going to bring up the kiss. This isn't going to be pretty I'm sure. Amanda told me she was thinking _what the hell _when she saw it all happen. I really want to hear this. I'm going to snoop and listen in. I told Sauli, Tommy, Kelsey, and Kaylee that I'll be back in a bit. I know this is wrong, but I need to know what's said if this deals with that kiss. I have a good hiding stop so they have no idea I'll be listening in. Oh, here they begin.

_"Jessica, I noticed at the audition that you and Tommy kissed. What the hell were you doing? You seriously want to ruin your friendship with him? I thought you told me that you only liked him as a friend. What happened to that, huh? That was rude that you two tried hiding it. Well guess what, I saw the whole thing and so did Adam. I want to know why you two kissed. Is it because you guys decided to start dating secretly or what? I thought we were best friends so I can't understand why you tried hiding that kiss from me. Well, what's your story? I'm listening,"_ Amanda said. Oh my god. Amanda like freaked out on Jess completely. That was sure entertaining. I'm worried about how Jessica is going to reply to that. She got yelled at big time. I noticed that Jessica started crying a little during the middle of Amanda's lecture. I wonder why she was crying. Did she honestly feel bad for it? I don't know what all she'd be crying about.

_"Jessica, what's wrong? I'm sorry I yelled at you like that but I'm a little pissed,"_ Amanda said. Jessica looked up and wiped the tears away from her eyes. I think she's going to answer back. This is something I've been curious about ever since it happened. I'm just minutes away from hearing the answer I've been so anxious about. Jessica is pacing herself back and forth in the room. Maybe she's trying to think the easiest way to explain the kiss. It probably is more complicated than it seems to us. Jessica isn't one to do PDA in front of people. I've only seen her do hugs for true PDA.

_"Well, Amanda, this isn't easy for me to share. I really don't know where to begin, so I'll start with this morning. I was so excited to see Adam auditioning. Once we got there, I started feeling a little worried. I was worried because I didn't think the judges would let Adam move on since he is gay. You might have not seen this but Tommy kept calming me down and reassuring me that Adam will make it through. Tommy tried all the way until Adam went in for the audition to keep me cheered up. When Adam came out and tricked us, I generally believed it to be true. Then he pulled out the ticket and my day went from gloomy to happy. I sometimes can't think when I'm happy. Tommy and I were talking about how amazing this is for Adam. Our faces were so close together and they kept getting closer. We finally reached that point to where we kissed. I honestly don't know what happened to me in that moment. I love Tommy but as a friend. He feels that same way with me. We both agreed to not that one little kiss make things awkward between us. It was nice but neither of us really know why we did it. So, let me ask you some questions. Did anyone else see the kiss happen? Another question I have for you personally is why were you all pissed about the kiss?"_ Jessica asked. Holy crap Jessica! So it was all built on spur of the moment I guess. Amanda will probably rat me out but that's okay. I'm also curious why Amanda came out all pissed about it. I mean I was a little upset about it, but I wouldn't erupt on her like that.

_"Thanks for telling me, Jess. I know that must've been hard for you to tell me. I'm not so angry anymore. I was just upset that I thought you were going to hide this from me forever or you'd lie to me about it. Adam also saw the kiss. No, he didn't tell me to freak out on you about it. He didn't even think that I should confront you about it. I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't lie to me. I guess I was upset because I didn't think you felt that way for Tommy. It took me by total surprise. I was scared that you don't trust me enough to tell me what happened there. I really don't know why I was so upset. I mean, I was kind of worried that if you guys started dating, you'd spend all your time with him and leave me out. I don't want to lose you as my friend. Jess, you and I have been friends for like 9 years. I don't want us to keep secrets away from each other. I want to be able to tell you what's wrong and for you to do the same with me. I can't stand thinking that you and I someday will never see each other again. This is our last year of high school together. After this, we'll be going to college. You'll go to that one college and I'll be going to a different one than you probably. I don't want to let you leave me Jess. It'll kill me inside because you have always been by my side. I know we've had our share of problems through middle school and hi_gh schoo_l. You have always found your way back to me though. To me, the good memories have the bad ones beat. I have had a great 9 years with you Jess and I'm afraid any little thing will tear us apart,"_ Amanda said.

_"Amanda, I feel as if you're paranoid. Why would Tommy and I kissing break up our friendship? I've been friends with you way before I became friends with Tommy and Adam. Besides you knew that Adam and I kissed and you don't seem to care about that. Is there something wrong with Tommy or why does it matter if he and I kissed? I already have told you that Tommy and I talked about it and don't see us going anywhere with it. So please tell me what the problem is. Is there something about Tommy you know that makes you that worried about me? I want answers,"_ Jess said. She is not going to give up on getting those answers I know. Jessica will continuously hound you with her questions and some smart-ass comments until you tell her what she wants to hear. When I try the same method on her, it doesn't work. That makes sense because that is her method of dealing with getting answers. She's probably oblivious to her own method. I'd be completely scared right now if I was Amanda. Jessica is starting to get annoyed and soon she'll be very pissed off. She literally scares the crap out of me when she's pissed. I could so see her destroying something completely whenever she's pissed. I'm surprised she hasn't done that in a very long time. She's more into writing down her feelings now than she was when she would destroy things. Jessica writes down all the senses she feels and she is always honest about them. She's shown me some poems and diary entries that really helped me understand her better. She completely hates it when people are ungrateful for what they have and she disapproves of spoiled people. Jessica comes from a low income raising family and they don't have the money to get whatever they want. Jess didn't even get her first phone until the summer after her freshman year because they never really had money to buy a phone for her.

_"Jess, I really don't know what it is that pissed me off so much. Tommy is a great guy and I know that you could be happy with him. The reason why it seemed like I didn't care much when you and Adam kissed is because I knew he wouldn't feel much for you because of him being gay. Tommy's straight though and he could easily rip your heart apart. I don't want that to happen. I can't stand to see you get hurt again. You've had so many bad relationships. Taylor just wanted you for sex. He broke up with you several times and you'd always go back to him for some reason. But then again you didn't know he wanted sex until the final time you guys were together. And then there's Brayden. I honestly don't remember if I told you that he flirted with me long before you guys started dating. I could see that you were happy with him until the end of your relationship. When I caught him on this dating site, I immediately told you. You still managed to forgive him but he broke up with you a few days later. I can't let you get hurt again. I care about you so much that it's hard for me to keep my mouth shut on things it should. I want you to be so very happy with yourself and your life. I really want to help you in whatever ways are possible. I guess the reason that I thought the kiss would break up our friendship is because I felt if you two started dating, you wouldn't have time for me or anyone else. Most couples spend all the time in the world together, and often times forget about their other friends. Remember when I dated Logan? He got me to forget all my friends because he didn't want me to be with anyone else but him. I guess I'm also scared that if you guys started dating, Tommy would join us every time we go to hang out. I don't know if it would be your idea or his, but that would seriously irritate me. If you want to hang out with me, you don't bring your boyfriend into it because then it's more like you're paying more attention to him. I've seen that happen with another friend of mine and that hurts. I want and need time to hang out with you so our friendship bond can grow. If Tommy and you were dating and he'd join us for about everything, our bond can't grow and our friendship would start to crumble. Jess, I'm worried that when you start dating again, something like that would happen. I'm worried you won't put effort into finding time with me and just me. I don't want to be a forgotten friend. I feel that if you and Tommy would become a couple that I'd be out of the picture for everything. You'd want him instead of me for whatever fun you have planned. I just don't want to be left out. I'm sorry, Jess,"_ Amanda said.

At that minute, Amanda grabbed Jessica and hugged her. They are both now crying. This is just depressing to watch. I think they are both forgiving each other. The worst thing about this is that I'm hungry but I can't leave this spot until they leave. I hope my stomach will stay quiet so they won't catch me snooping on them. That would be very bad. Obviously Jess will tell me some of what was said during their conversation, but I'm sure she'll leave some details out. That's the only reason why I decided to snoop in the first place. I wanted to hear everything being said about it because I was curious as well. Oh, they're breaking out of the hug. They're wiping away each others tears. _"You_ _ready to go back out there, Jess?"_ Amanda asked. _"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's get back to the party. Remember, we're not gonna tell anyone what was said just now. It'll just be between the two of us,_" Jessica said. I watched them as they walked out. I'll wait just a few more minutes until I get out of my spot. I wanna make sure that Amanda and Jessica aren't going to come back in here again.


	13. Chapter 12 - My Other Half

** Chapter 12 - My Other Half**

I came back into the room and realized that Kelsey, Kaylee, and Brittney must have left. Well, it is getting pretty late. It's about 11:00 PM and tomorrow is Sunday. I don't go to church and neither does Sauli, Brittney, Tommy, or Amanda. Jessica goes just because her family goes and she doesn't have much of a choice. I know Jess is a Christian but she'd sometimes want to skip church. I think she's going to skip tomorrow. Her parents aren't worried about her being over at my house. They like the fact that I'm gay so then I won't try anything on her.

There's only 5 of us here now since those 3 left us. It kinda got awkward because it's one couple, Sauli and me, with Jessica, Amanda, and Tommy. I can just feel the tension between the three of them. Amanda's still a little upset about the kiss. She's been glaring at Tommy about all night. I still really wonder what Amanda's big problem with Tommy is. It seems almost as if she's jealous, but I know she's really protective over Jess. I like to think that the reason that she's so protective of her is because she really cares about her. I can tell that Amanda wants the best for Jess and a lot of the guys here are complete asses. Amanda knows that Tommy is a great guy and is different from all the rest. She still, though, has doubts about him. Maybe the fact that Tommy is a guitarist scares Amanda a bit. Some musicians can be quite bad people, especially show offs who use their talent to get girls. Tommy doesn't do it to get girls' attentions, he loves being able to create music. I can't blame him because I do the very same thing, except with singing. Tommy someday does want to make it big as a guitarist. I hope I could have him play for me if I do become famous off of American Idol. I really think it would be fun to always have one of my best friends on the road with me and get to live this amazing life with me. Maybe I could get some shows to where all my friends could easily go to. I know I'd give them any tickets for free if I could. I can also guarantee that they'd get backstage passes and access to my dresser room. I might even get them to come up on stage with me for a song. I know I could probably make background singers of Jessica, Amanda, and Sauli.

_"Does anybody want to play truth or dare? I think that'll be fun,"_ I said. I love playing games at parties. Tommy once threw a party and he had the game pin the donkey. That was loads of fun. It was just Tommy, Jessica, and me. I won just by chance. Tommy accidentally pinned his dad right in the chest. That was very funny to watch. Tommy felt so bad while Jessica and I couldn't stop each other from laughing. We weren't trying to be mean to his dad, but that was hilarious. Tommy's mom came in and started laughing with us. We later got Tommy and his dad to join in the laughter. Those were some really good times. It was too bad that Amanda wasn't there with us that time to experience it with us. It will forever be one of the best and funniest moments of my life. The face that Tommy's dad had when he got pinned by Tommy was priceless. I'd pay to see the whole exact thing happen one more time. I wish that Jessica or I would have recorded that but neither of us were thinking ahead. We could probably have a chance of winning money on America's Funniest Home Videos. That would be just as funny if not funnier than most of the videos that they play. His dad's face would be what would really sell the video. It's definitely one of the highlights of my friendship with Jessica and Tommy. We still think about that day every now and again and just laugh about the whole situation. Tommy still can't believe he accidentally did that to his father.

_"I'm up for it,"_ Amanda said._ "Yeah, sounds like fun to me. I'm in,"_ Tommy said. _"Well, I'll play too since it looks like majority vote wins. Please take it easy on the dares for me though,"_ Jess said. Jessica should have no worries about that. I wouldn't do anything to really push her off her edge for dares. I thought of a couple dares for every person so then if they'd choose dare, it wouldn't take forever for us as a majority to pick out what we'll have them do for a dare. Some of my choices are pretty dirty. I'm proud of all of them I came up with. It'd be really fun to try a lot of these dares. I have really good ones picked out for Tommy, Sauli, and Jessica. Tommy and Sauli won't know what hit them with all these dares. I'm sure they'll have a ball with all of these ideas I have for them. Jessica would have fun with hers too, if she'd pick dare anyway. I highly doubt she'll take a dare just because she's worried on what we'd have her do. I know she's probably love some of them and then others she'd hate with a passion.

When we started playing, I could tell we were all having a good time with it. Jessica chose truth for one of them so we asked her what she'd do if she got the members from Midnight Red alone in her room for a night. She said that she'd have them sing and perform to her until she'd tell them to stop. She'd also require Anthony and Thomas to have their shirts off the whole time. And if she'd fall asleep, they'd all come sleep with her. Anthony and Thomas would be on both sides of her but the rest could arrange however they want. Jess is a cuddler so I know that she'd probably be spooning with Anthony and Thomas. That would be a dream come true for her. I don't think that will ever happen in real life though. Maybe if I become famous, I can try getting the group to come down this way for a private concert for Jessica. I know that would be the perfect birthday present for her. She is completely bonkers for them. If I had a quarter for every time that she listens to them in a day, I'd be so rich that I'd have no idea how much money I would really have. That gives you an idea on how obsessed she is with them. She even has their songs as her ringtones and alert sounds just because she wants to hear their music even more than she does.

Tommy chose dare because he likes doing weird things. We dared him to pretend he was each of us. He first went and did his interpretation of me. He put on his leather jacket and started applying makeup to himself. He said,_ "It takes so much work to look so good. I gotta look my best at all costs."_ He grabbed a flashlight and acted like it was a microphone. He started lip syncing to the song that was playing on the stereo, which at this time was "Amazed" by Lonestar. Not the best choice of music for him to try to copy me with. We all know that I really don't do country music. My voice is way too high for that stuff. Yeah, he nailed me down. He then chose to do Sauli. He walked around the room with trying to pronounce things in English even though it sounded weird. He didn't do as good with Sauli as I hoped. He then did Jessica and he nailed her exactly. He grabbed some paper and started writing. He wrote a letter addressed to Thomas, pronouncing her love to him.

He then got out his phone and started tweeted every little thing he thought of, just like Jess. I say his funniest one was Amanda's. For his interpretation of Amanda, he grabbed this huge 2 liter of Mountain Dew and chugged it. He started running out of the room and popping out at us, giving us heart attacks. He grabbed a good handful of M&M's and started throwing them at us. He later sneaked up on us and found our ticklish spots. That was so like Amanda and so funny.

Sauli decided to go next and he also chose dare. We dared Sauli to switch clothes with Jessica, since they are about the same size. They both are pretty dang skinny but not because they're athletic. Amanda would've been too skinny to fit Sauli in her clothes so that's why we had Jess and him switch. It was funny. Sauli was in Jessica's short yellow/black dress, wearing a strapless bra (much too big for him) and obviously Jessica's high heeled shoes. Sauli also has smaller feet so he could barely hit into her shoes but he forced them too. We didn't make him switch underwear with Jessica because we thought that was going a little too far. I thought it was also funny seeing Jess wear Sauli's jacket with his suit. Sauli still pulls the suit off more than Jess but she pulls her dress better than Sauli.

Amanda is up next and she decided to go with truth. We decided to ask her what scares her the most about life. She answered that losing us scares her the most. She really doesn't want to graduate this year because she's going to miss us so much. That was a very honest and sincere answer. I know she truly means it. High school kind of has treated us all kind of bad, but we've all managed to stay friends throughout all years so far. Amanda is really worried about that life will separate all of us and we'll lose all communication. That kind of made me a little sad. I want to reassure her that won't happen but we don't know about the future.

Now it's my turn. I decided to go with truth because I didn't want to go through some kind of ridiculous dare. They asked me about what I want my future to be like. I told them that I want to make it big in the music business. I just want someone to recognize me and be able to make music. I told them that I want all of them in my life still, even if I grow famous. I said that I want to be able to make a difference in this world through my music. I want my music to inspire people to dance, to cry, and to live their dreams. I want to be a sense of hope to all the people who are different. I got a round of applause from everyone for my little speech. I saw Jess crying a little bit. Oh Jessica, she always has a tendency to cry when I speak from my heart.

We decided to go watch a movie since it's now about midnight. We all decided on the Paranormal movies, just because we all want a good scare. None of us have actually seen these before. My parents have all 4 movies of the series so far. We put in the first DVD and it wasn't too bad. There was some parts that totally scared the crap out of us. I was on the outside with Sauli beside me, followed by Tommy, then Amanda, then Jessica on the other outside. Jess was the only one of us who didn't scream during the first one. She did jump the highest, however. We just got done with the first one so we put the second one in.

What time is it? OMG it's 8 AM. We fell asleep during the 2nd movie. Crap, I was hoping we'd be able to get through all the movies. I hope none of Sauli's, Jessica's, Amanda's, or Tommy's families are freaking out. The party wasn't originally going to be a sleepover._ "Everyone, wake up! It's 8 AM and we all fell asleep. Wake up!"_ I shouted. They all woke up and they were shocked. Nobody thought we would fall asleep tonight. We all must have fallen asleep during the second movie because the movie is still in there. We all drank a lot of Mountain Dew and had a whole ton of sweets that it seemed impossible for any of us to sleep tonight. That's why we had all 4 movies of the paranormal activities series all lined up to watch. We all thought we'd be up all night just because we were very hyper at the start of the first paranormal movie.

Thankfully nobody's parents were freaking out about it. I guess they were all thinking that this was going to be like a sleep over. I was so stressed out thinking that someone's parents would freak out and never let them over with me ever again. I lucked out this time. I need to be much more careful next time. I'm hoping there will be a next time. I really had a whole lot of fun at this party. I hope mom and dad let me throw another one sometime soon. I wouldn't mind about another repeat of tonight. I got to experience my love with Sauli for the very first time at this party. I have never gotten a chance like this in life ever before. I thought I was never going to be in love with someone who loves me back. Well, I'm wrong there. Sauli does in fact love me and I couldn't be any happier.

Well, everyone's getting ready to leave. Jessica has to hurry because she has church to get to in an hour and she's worried she won't make it. Amanda's going with her because Jessica invited her and Amanda said okay to it. _"Bye Adam, see you tomorrow! We had fun_," Amanda and Jessica said. That was the last thing I heard before they went out the door and drove away. Tommy stayed here a little longer because he needed to make sure he had all his stuff before he'd leave. Tommy has a way of forgetting about his stuff. He one time accidentally left his phone at my house for the night. That was hilarious lol. He had his lock on so I couldn't go through his texts or anything. It's like he knew he would forget about his phone here so he locked it. Good thinking, Tommy. Tommy just left and now I'm all alone with Sauli.

_"Sauli, I had a really great time with you tonight. I wish it wouldn't have to end,_" I said. _"Me either, Adam. I really enjoyed getting to know you more. I felt like you and I got a lot closer last night and I know our relationship is going to be great. I love you so much more than I've anyone else. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you,_" Sauli said. It only took Sauli to say those few words to make our talking into making out. Of course Jessica misses it again. She's gonna be all jealous once Amanda tells her that Sauli and I kissed earlier. I know how Jessica loves guy on guy love. Jessica would go on and on earlier about how she wants to see me and any boyfriend I have making out. I don't know why she enjoys it so much, but I'm not here to judge her. I guess it goes the same way with how some guys obsess over two girls kissing and making out. It all depends on their interest I guess. I will have to admit that there are double standards though. Two girls can easily kiss without the whole world going haywire about it. If there are two guys kissing, people tend to make a big deal about it. That doesn't seem fair to me at all.

Sauli and I are going to take our relationship pretty slow. We both felt each other's chests while making out. Sauli is so toned and muscular. His chest is flat but also ripped. He's got a little six pack going on there. My chest isn't nearly as good as his. I don't had a six pack at all but my chest is pretty flat. Sauli and I sort of teased each other while we were making out on the couch. Sauli bit my neck a few times and I would bite his ear playfully. This time with Sauli really means the world to me. I have never felt so happy in my life before. I love him for the way he is. Everything he does seems to attract me even more to him. It is almost as if gravity keeps pulling me closer to him until he and I later become one. We're still way too early to become one though. I don't want to have sex until I'm really sure about him. Of course I do want to try, but I want it to be worth it in the end if we do end up having sex. I've actually had dreams of ud having sex and those were just too amazing.

We were disturbed when my parents came walking through the door. Oh crap, they don't know that Sauli and I are dating now. This is not how I wanted to tell them. They're staring at Sauli and I in shock._ "I'll see you later, Adam. You threw a cool party,"_ Sauli said. He quickly ran out of the house. I hope he's not embarrassed by my parents walking in on us making out. My parents are staring at me in shock. It'd be better if they could at least say something. I'm so worried about what they're going to say. I didn't have this party to get Sauli to fall in love with me. I had it to celebrate me making it to Hollywood on Idol. I didn't think that Sauli and I would start dating at this party. I have no idea on how I'm going to explain this all to my parents. Ahh, something please help me. I am honestly scared for my life right now. I wish Sauli was here to protect me right now. He'd be able to maybe have my parents take it easier on me. They don't want Sauli to tell them off to authorities about any bad things they might say or do while they are upset with me. I never know how they will react to certain situations.


	14. Chapter 13 - Where Do I Start?

** Chapter 13 - Where Do I Start?**

_"Okay, mom and dad. You guys have been staring at me for the longest amount of time possible. I know what you saw was not expected and I bet you're both pissed about it. Well, let me explain to you guys what happened before you guys came in. The party was going great. I helped Jess with her makeup before everyone else showed up. They all got here and we blasted the music and started eating the food. I invited Sauli to this party but I never told him the reason why I was throwing a party. I took him to the other room to explain to him about my experience making it onto Idol. He asked me to sing a bit, so I did and he loved it so much that he was crying. He hugged me and didn't want to let go. He soon after kissed me, which I liked. He then went on telling me that he has a crush on me. I then finally told him the truth about me actually being gay and that I have a crush on him. We decided then and there to start dating. We went back out of that room and told everyone. Nobody seemed pissed or upset about it. Sauli was just about to leave when you guys walked in. Please, don't be angry at him,"_ I said.

My parents continued to stare at me after I told them about what happened previously to the make out session with Sauli. Finally, it looks like mom is about to speak._ "Adam, we're not angry at you. You're not in any kind of trouble. We just weren't expecting you to get a boyfriend at this party. We knew that you'd eventually find a guy you like and bring him home, but we didn't expect for him to come from a party, especially tonight's. Thank you for telling us the whole story about got you and Sauli together. It really helps us understand more about the situation. We are 100% okay about you and Sauli dating. I bet he's a really nice guy just like you. We want to officially meet him soon, though. It's not like we don't trust you, we just want to know the guy that took our son's heart. Please let him know that we're not mad at him or you about it, We just want to get to know him better,"_ mom said.

My parents are okay with us dating? That shocks me. I mean, I thought they would automatically shun it since they came home to us making out. That's a terrible way for your parents to find out you're in a relationship, especially if it's with someone they don't even know at all. Who knows if Sauli will even want to continue our relationship on. He looked pretty scared and embarrassed when he left. I really hope that this won't be a big deal to him. I will admit that I was freaking out myself when I looked up and saw my parents just watching us make out. I had no idea that they were going to be so nice about the whole thing. I was waiting for my dad to speak up when my mom was talking. I thought he'd mention how inappropriate that was to them to walk into and see. Dad is okay with me being gay, but I sometimes feel that he has moments that he wishes that I was straight.

_"Adam, why don't you invite Sauli over next Saturday. We were thinking about having a family picnic at the park and we'd be delighted if he would join us. You can also bring whatever friends you'd want. I'm assuming that you'll invite Jessica and Tommy over to it since they usually always are wherever you are at the time. We like them both so much too. You can tell whoever you're inviting that they don't need to bring anything. We have everything taken care of,"_ dad said.

_"Okay, dad. Thanks to you both for both being so considerate and open minded about this. I promise that Sauli is the kind of guy that you'd like. Please just don't be too overprotective when he comes. He originally lived in Finland but he moved here a little before the school year started. I know he's still trying to get used to the American way of things. He still has troubles reading, speaking, and writing in English. As you could hear from when he left, he does have a Finnish accent when he speaks in English. I find it kind of cute. Of course for the picnic you'll have Mountain Dew, punch, tea, Pepsi, and water, right? You guys obviously know that Jessica would go for a Mountain Dew. Tommy would go for a Pepsi most likely. I don't know exactly what kind of drink Sauli would want. I think he drinks about anything, but I want to be safe just in case. You guys do make a great punch drink anyway,"_ I said.

"That sounds like a good plan, Adam. Well, I think we all should be getting to bed. It's been a long night for all of us I think. Your father and I ended up going out to this fancy restaurant that just opened not too long ago. We then went to the movies. We had a really good night. It's too bad that we can't have nights like this more often. Well, Eber, let's get going to bed. Goodnight to our sweet Adam. Sweet dreams and just think about what we've been talking about," mom said. I watched them as they walked out of the living room, leaving me speechless. I don't know how I can exactly sum up the night as a whole. I want to write about it, but I don't know what to say. I don't want it to be too long. I'll just write this as a journal entry. I call them journal entries instead of diary entries because it doesn't sound as feminine. My entry for the night goes as follows.

_Dear Journal,_

_I don't have the words to explain how happy today has made me. I'm going to be going to Hollywood for American Idol in just a few months. I've always thought that people have sugar-coated me when they say I'm a good singer just because they don't want to upset me in any way. That can't be true though. All 4 judges said yes to me, including Simon. I thought for sure that Simon would beat me up on every little thing I did wrong. He actually was pretty nice. He called me theatrical but he still passed me onto Hollywood._

_When I came out of the room with the golden ticket, all of my friends were so very happy and proud of me. I was surprised when I later looked around and saw Tommy and Jessica kissing. Amanda also witnessed the kiss and she was taken by shock as well. We all thought that Jessica and Tommy were close friends, but we didn't know that they were that close._

_I called my parents and told them both on how I made it to Hollywood. There was nothing but pure happiness coming from them. They gave me permission to have a party tonight with a small group of friends. They trust me so much to put me in charge of a party with friends during the night when they're both gone. Jessica got here early so then I could help her with her makeup._

_Everyone else showed up and the party began. As I started playing music, I gave this huge speech thanking everyone for coming. I noticed the confusion on Sauli's face, so I took him into the kitchen to explain to him why I threw a party. Sauli took the explanation very well. He asked me to sing him something, so I did. He was taken back by it because I noticed him crying. He was crying because of how good I was, not because of anything I said._

_This was the highlight of my night. Sauli ended up hugging me and then he kissed me. I was completely surprised by the kiss. I thought Sauli was straight so it didn't make sense why he kissed me. He told me about how he's been secretly crushing on me ever since the beginning. I then told him that I felt the same way about him. We thought it'd be a great idea to start dating, so we held hands as we went back into the living room to where the party is. I told them all what happened and everyone was happy that we got together._

_I had to be very snoopy, but I got to hear Amanda talk to Jessica about the kiss she shared with Tommy earlier in the day. Amanda was really pissed at Jessica about the kiss for some strange reason. She really kept going at Jessica with many questions. Jessica finally started talking about the kiss. It wasn't planned at all. Tommy and her got so close to each other when they were talking about me that it turned into a kiss. They still decided it would be best to just stay friends after the kiss happened. Amanda was still being very protective to Jess about the whole thing. She truly does want the best for Jess. She was kind of paranoid at the time. Amanda was worried that if Tommy and Jessica would date, she'd be left out of everything. She is scared that she's going to lose Jess as a friend. They somehow worked it out and they hugged. They both started crying while hugging each other._

_They both went back into the living room and I shortly soon followed them. I offered for us all to play the game truth or dare. Everyone was up for it. Jessica, Amanda, and I went for truths, while Sauli and Tommy went for dares. The dares were some of the funniest things I've seen in a very long time. My favorite one was when Sauli was dared to switch clothes with Jessica. I thought he looked so cute in Jessica's yellow/black dress, with a bra much too big for him, and Jessica's high heeled shoes. Jessica then put on Sauli's suit with his leather jacket on. Jess put on his shoes, just for the fun of it._

_As everyone was leaving, Sauli and I were left here all alone. We started talking, which led to a kiss and then later a make out session. Sauli and I felt each other's chests, which I found out that he has a six pack and his stomach is so athletically built. It made me feel a little bad about mine since my chest isn't as ripped as his. As we were making out, my parents came in and scared my Sauli away. I was then waiting for a reaction from my parents besides the strange looks they gave me._

_I told mom and dad on how Sauli and I got to the point of making out. My parents were in shock, but they are totally okay with Sauli and I dating. They weren't expecting me to fall in love at the party tonight. They told me about this family picnic we're having next Saturday and they want me to invited Sauli and anyone else who I want at it. I am actually really excited and nervous about that. I just hope Sauli will want to come. I know he's probably embarrassed since my parents walked in on us kissing. I'll have to reassure him that they're not mad at him or me about the kiss._

_If you can tell, today was such a great and confusing day for me. I wouldn't want it any other way I guess. I am now dating the guy of my dreams. I never thought this would happen in a million years. I'm so happy and hyper that I have no idea on how I'm going to sleep tonight. It's about 2:30 AM and here I still am writing this entry. It will take me all night to be able to fall asleep. I probably should try though. I'm sure my friends will want to hang out sometime in the afternoon. Well, goodnight._

_- Adam Lambert_

I already know I won't be able to get much sleep tonight. Tonight has been great, but that does make it harder for me to sleep. What if tonight was just a good dream that I didn't wake up from? What if I wake up in the morning and realize this was just a dream and none of it really happened? I am worried for my life right now that this is all a dream. I can't even tell if this was a dream or not. It seemed too good to be real but it all looked real. Besides, I think if this was a dream then my parents wouldn't have shown up until after Sauli would leave. That would be the most incredible dream I've had in awhile.

As I'm about to close my eyes, I can hear my phone going off. Oops, I almost forgot to put it on silence before I go to bed I better go check to see what it is. Oh, it's a text from Sauli. He says,_ "Adam! I just want to thank you for the amazing time I had tonight. I hope your parents aren't pissed about our kiss. I can come over later today if you want me to and tell them about us personally. You're probably sleeping so I hope you smile when you wake up and see this. I think it's time for me to go to bed, even though this seems like Mission Impossible. I'm so happy that it was hard to tell my parents on why I'm this crazy. I did tell them about us dating and they couldn't be more happier. Goodnight my love. Sleep well and have sweet dreams. I love you!"_ This has to be real life because I did not just imagine Sauli texting me that. I can say it's safe to say that I'll wake up in the morning and nothing will have changed. I want to text Sauli back but I'm starting to feel so drowsy. I really couldn't help but to smile to that text. Sauli honestly makes me so very happy. He was a sweetheart before we started dating and I know that's not going to change. That's one of the many things I love about Sauli. He stays true to himself.

Okay, I really want to text him back. How can I not let him know what I'm thinking about tonight with him? I can't because if he has time to text that long and detailed of a text to me, then I should be able to do the same for him. _"Sauli! I want you to know when I saw that text of yours, my face blushed extremely red and I got a huge smile across my face. I don't see what I did to deserve someone as amazing as you. I sometimes feel as if you'd be better off without me, but I know that's just an insecurity of mine. I feel as if you deserve better. I know you'll tell me that I'm all you want though and nobody could be better than me. I don't know what I'd do without you in my life. My parents aren't pissed or anything about the kiss. They were actually extremely happy about it. You can come over here today later if you'd want to. I know this is probably going to be a late night for both of us. I have something that I'll need to tell you about later. I know you'll love it. Well anyway I think I'm going to attempt to go to bed again. I love you, Sauli. I truly think that you and I are a perfect match. Goodnight handsome." _


	15. Chapter 14 - True Feelings Unfold

** Chapter 14 - True Feelings Unfold**

What a beautiful morning! The sun is shining ever so brightly. I can hear the birds chirping. Today already seems like it's going to be an incredible day. For the first time ever, I will have a boyfriend at one of our family reunions. I am kind of worried because some of my distant family doesn't know that I'm gay. I have no idea if they'll either love it that I am or hate it completely. I feel like my family, in general, is very open minded about things. My parents didn't make a big deal about it when I told them.

I texted all my friends letting them know about the family picnic. Jessica and Amanda are planning to go. Tommy wanted to go but he has the flu so he needs to stay home. The picnic itself has gotten me very nervous. Sauli will be going with me and I'm scared that he won't be treated right. My family can hate me as much as they want to, but they better show complete politeness to Sauli. Sauli is so very special to me and I think he and I could make it a long term relationship. I really want that with him. He is my first love. I have to say that I've had some crushes before him, but they never developed into anything more. Some of the guys I had crushes on were also gay. I just never felt that things between us would work out. Their lifestyles seemed so much different than mine.

_***Doorbell rings***_ Oh, Sauli must be here. My mom and dad are so anxious to meet him. I open the door and the first thing I see is Sauli's gorgeous blue eyes. I stare right into his eyes and then take in his look for the day. He looks so relaxed. He's wearing designer blue jeans, a white t-shirt with a nice jacket on top, and also these really sexy boots. He looks completely like a model right now. I can tell he wants to leave a good impression on my parents and my family. _"Hey, Sauli. I'm so glad that you decided to come to the picnic with us. Please, have a seat. You can sit right by me,"_ I said.

_"I'm really happy to have you here with us. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sauli. I am Adam's mother and my name is Leila. That is my husband, Eber. We are both so happy to see Adam in love and enjoying life. Let me tell you, it's really been a long time since I've seen him this happy. Adam has always been our little sunshine. We always knew he was different, but we're 100% happy with him the way he is. Eber and I want him to love and be happy like many people are. We've been noticing him being this happy for a few weeks. You have really put a change in his life. I want you to know that we are not here to judge you. I can tell you will easily fit in with our family,"_ my mom said.

_"Now Sauli, I do have to warn you that we don't want to see Adam's heart broken. We know that there's always a chance that you guys won't work out. There might be huge difference between you two that make you have to call it off. Adam, Sauli, if either of you ever call off your relationship, please give the other a complete explanation why you've been thinking that way. One thing I noticed in previous relationships, before I met Leila, were that the break ups were never clear. They were often times confusing. I don't want that to happen to either of you. I learned that people always have reasons and excuses for every action they do. I had some past girlfriends that broke up with me and give me the excuse of 'it wasn't working' or 'I don't know'. Those ones never gave me the proper reason with a goodbye. You both will know better than that,"_ my dad said.

_"Thanks for that, Leila and Eber. I will take that advice to heart because I can tell you guys that I've had a few relationships like Eber mentioned. The reason behind the break up was never clear and it always kept me thinking. I'd never do that to anyone, especially Adam. Even though our relationship hasn't been going on long, I've already established this deep connection to Adam. There's something about him that kept me thinking about him on the first day of school. I couldn't be much happier to be with him. I can tell you guys will treat me just like your own son. You've taught Adam so well. You guys deserve to be proud to have a nice and loving son,"_ Sauli said.

I'm so happy that Sauli and my parents are getting along so well. Nothing is awkward about it at all. It's like they've known each other for years. My parents grabbed their main dishes for the picnic as we all climbed into our red SUV. My mom made scalloped potatoes and ham casserole, which is one of my favorites. She also baked a homemade pepperoni pizza. She loves cooking from scratch. My mom has also taught me how to cook. I can cook a few good meals, which is more than what my dad could make. I need to learn how to cook Finnish foods to surprise Sauli with. That will make him feel like he's right at home. Sauli does love trying all this American food that is new to him.

As we come to a stop, I can spy my other relatives over at these picnic tables. I haven't seen some of these relatives in forever. It might have been years since I saw some of these aunts, uncles, and also cousins. Hey, it looks that Jessica and Amanda just pulled in right beside us. It's too bad that Tommy can't be here. I know he loves my mom's cooking haha. He actually loves spending the night over at my house so then he can feast out at supper, breakfast, and lunch. He does like hanging out with me, too. When Tommy's over, we usually play some Call Of Duty, along with playing/singing music together and watching movies. Tommy loves to call Amanda using the private number mode and trick her with it. He finds it amusing that she falls for it most of the time. Tommy once changed his voice so bad that he sounded like a cop. He said something along the lines of 'there's a criminal on the loose so make sure you lock your doors and windows. She believed it and she called Jessica up because she was worried for her life.

_"Are you ready for this, Sauli?"_ I asked. He smiled, looked over at me and said,_ "as ready as I'll ever be. I'm ready to show you off to everyone in your family. I really hope they like me, though. I don't want us to ever end."_

I grabbed Sauli's hand and smiled at him. We started walking towards where everyone was at. My relatives are all staring at Sauli and me. I can't tell what they are all thinking right now. I know some of them think this is a joke and that we're just friends. Others probably realize we're a couple and are disgusted by it. The rest probably can see how happy I am and accept that I'm holding hands with another guy right now. I need to speak before everyone has made up their opinions on what's going on.

_"Hey, everyone. It's been a good amount of time since we had the whole family together like this. I miss seeing a lot of you. I'm so glad you're all here. Now, one thing you might be wondering is why did we just decide to have this picnic. Well, some have you might have been told already but I'll tell it again. I auditioned for American Idol and I made the first cut to Hollywood! I wanted to tell all of you right after it happened, but that would probably make me go over my minutes. I told mom and dad about my problem so they came up with this picnic as a family reunion/celebration of my achievement. There's something else I want to bring up while I still have everyone's attention. I know you all saw me and this guy walking hand-in-hand up to here. We're still holding hands right now if you didn't know. No, we're not just friends trying to be funny. This is Sauli and he's my boyfriend. Most of you probably didn't know I was gay. I know some assumed it but wasn't for sure. I have to tell you all that I am very much gay and I'm proud to be. Sauli has captured my heart. He is seriously the best thing to have ever come into my life. Please be nice to him, even if you don't like the fact that we're together. All I'm asking is for everyone to try being happy for us. My parents and Sauli's parents are all okay with us dating. I know each of you can give Sauli the respect he deserves. Well everyone, I think it's time to eat. Get up and go get in line unless you want to starve,"_ I said.

The mob at the line has started to form. I look over at Sauli and I got him to cry. I meant every single word I said about Sauli. The good thing is that he knows I meant all of what I said. I have never been happier in my life before. I've always felt like that I had an empty hole in my heart. Ever since Sauli came into my life, that hole has been filled. I feel as if my life is complete now thanks to him. I don't have to ever feel like I'm alone. I know Sauli will always be here for me. He obviously knows how to make me happy when I'm feeling down. That's something that I've never had before. I mean, sometimes Jess or Tommy could make me happy for a little bit when I'm depressed, but that only worked for a very small amount of time. Sauli can keep me happy as long as forever. He already know that him talking already makes my heart go wild and for me to start smiling. Sauli loves to talk because he knows I get amused by it.

_"That was an amazing speech, Adam. You know that Amanda and I got your back and Sauli's too. If anyone wants to make a bad scene, we'll take them aside and talk to them privately. We will not stand for you two to get hated for being a couple that's in love. You know that I do fight dirty, Adam. It especially helps that I know a good amount of your family because I have some little things that they will be surprised that I know about them. You always know that I feel as if I'm a spy or detective at times. I do get a little snoopy and sometimes hear or see things that would have a normal person disgusted by. I love to keep these things a secret because I could always get in trouble for some of them. These secrets are so juicy that I sometimes want to tell the people that it deals with, but I keep it stored up until that occasion comes where I need to use it. If the duty calls for me to bring up some of this trash on people because they treat you and Sauli bad, then I will. I will not watch you two getting hated on without me stepping into it. I promise that any bad remarks I hear from people, I will tell you guys immediately,"_ Jessica said.

_"Thanks Jessica, that means a lot to us. We can't thank you and Amanda enough for having our backs like this. You both are true friends. Besides Adam and Tommy, you two are the other closest friends I've ever had in my life. I had friends back in Finland, but they were never really there for me when I needed them. If I would've came out of the closet when I still lived there, I wouldn't be able to count on my friends to help me. They would ditch me and often treat me as if I am not important. I thankfully don't have problem with you two and Tommy having my back through all of this. I feel so relaxed to know that I have people looking after me. It brings that feeling of security to me,"_ Sauli said.

We all are getting hungry so we just got in the line since about everyone went through already. We all wanted to make sure that there would be enough food to serve the rest of the family. There's still a ton of food left. Oh my gosh, it's a miracle. The scalloped potatoes and ham is still surviving. Well, it might be gone by the time I'm done with it. I took a large enough serving but left enough for it to serve 1 or 2 more people. It looks like Jessica and Amanda are going to split the rest of it. That's probably a good thing. Those two are both really good at sharing their foods and drinks. That's one of the easiest ways to tell that they are the best of friends. I know they are also good at sharing secrets. It makes me curious to what they all talk about. They seem so innocent most of the time but I know they can't be. Jessica has a dirty little mind. She often likes to joke about the number 69. She often tells me that when I become famous and have an album out that'll have some dirty and frisky songs on it. That makes me laugh a little. Yeah, I do have a dirty mind, but I don't think I'd write those kind of songs.

We all sat down at the table that didn't really have many people sitting at. I think it's funny because the table separated themselves into age groups. The table we just sat at has my relatives from 12 all the way to 20. The next table has the 20's to the 30's. The following table has the 40's to the 50's. The last table has the 60's to 80's. I think that's all pretty funny. We all kind of want to stay within our age range. That does make sense though. It splits out the families and gets them to interact with people their age. I can tell that's a pretty smart idea. I wonder who came up with it.

I can tell Jessica and Amanda feel left out of the conversation. A lot of my cousins are asking Sauli and I questions, some dealing with our relationship. My cousin Jake just asked us how we met and how we came to start dating. I honestly love answering these questions about our relationship. I love being able to think back of the flashback and be able to share with people how I met the love of my life. I really feel bad for Amanda and Jess for being so isolated from the rest of the conversations. I try getting them involved, but the focus goes back to Sauli and me before either of them have a chance to even say a word. At least they have each other to talk to. I would really have felt bad if Amanda didn't come and Jessica was left out of the conversations like she is now. She'd be isolated by herself from everyone else. That would be very embarrassing towards her.

My cousin Anna just asked Sauli what's it like to be in love with me. I am really excited to hear this answer. I know Sauli always tell me what I mean to him, but I rarely hear him say it in front of anybody else. I guess he did tell his heart out to my parents, but that is basically it. I don't think Jessica and Amanda have heard him talk about me like in this way. I think they and I are going to be in for a good treat. As Sauli is speaking, I feel as if I'm about to burst out crying at any given second. Sauli's words today are very powerful and it's like he is speaking directly to my heart instead of Anna. He says that it is the best feeling in the world to be in love with me. Sauli said that he's waited years for someone this special to enter his life and now he finally has that special person. Sauli also said that I have made a huge impact in his life already. He says that without me, he wouldn't know where to turn to. He wouldn't have the love or companionship from anybody else. Saul said that every moment spent with me is very sacred to him. He doesn't take a second with me for granted. I just about cried as he finished explaining to Anna his true feelings about me.

Amanda and Jessica motioned for me to come over towards them. I wonder what's so important that they had to separate me away from everyone else just to talk to them. If I guess right, this is going to be something about someone trash talking Sauli and my relationship. It would be like someone in my family to start a big commotion out of nothing. I know my parents wouldn't do that so it leaves them out. My question is who is purposely trying to ruin my relationship with Sauli and why are they trying to do this. It's just not right to have to treat Sauli and I badly just because we're gay. In my opinion, love has color or no orientation. All love is love no matter what people they are.

_"Okay, Amanda and Jessica. What's up?"_ I asked. _"Well, Adam. I know since these are your relatives that you know each of their names. There's this guy sitting at our table that looks totally cute. He looks our age. He's got the short buzzcut looking light brown hair. He's got these dreamy light blue eyes that sparkle in the light. So, do you know what his name is? I kinda want to talk to him but I don't have an idea on what I would say to him. I don't want to come off too strong and look like some kind of creeper,"_ Amanda said.

_"Well, Amanda. Since I can tell you're dying to know. His name is Justin. He's one of my second cousins. He's in our grade actually. He lives like an hour away from here so that's why neither you or Jess have seen him until today. He is pretty sweet and he has a very good sense of humor. He does have a more serious side and sometimes can be a little too hard on himself,"_ I said.


	16. Chapter 15 - The Bad Timing

** Chapter 15 - The Bad Timing**

I'm surprised the picnic is going as well as it is. There's nothing out of the ordinary right now. Amanda and even Jessica are kind of freaking out about how cute Justin is. Amanda is heads-over-heels falling for him, one reason might be that he's a country guy and does have a little southern accent. I think Jessica is accepting the friend code and letting Amanda have a chance at him. He does suit Amanda more than Jessica. Jessica isn't the biggest fan when it comes to country anything. She can tolerate it but would never dream about living in the country. I think that always could change though. Jess is pretty good at compromising things.

Sauli and I are both having a great time. There's lots of smiles and hugs going around the tables. I can hear my dad telling a joke. It's actually one of my favorite jokes. It is ' What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make my butt look fat.' My dad has been telling me that one ever since I can remember. It's not that funny to me now, but it makes me think back on my childhood. Those were the years I didn't even have to worry about my orientation or being judged because of it. Of course I'm proud of who I am today. The only problem I have with it is how much more complicated my life is because of it.

_"Hey, Adam. What's your cousin Zoey doing over there? She's staring at everyone in what seems like a grumpy way. You think she's pissed about something? I lately have made eye contact with her, completely by accident, and I swear I see her giving me a very different angry look that she doesn't give anyone else,"_ Sauli said. My cousin Zoey always has had a hard time getting along with people. She's about 5 years older than me. I once was actually close to her. For a very long time, she was my favorite cousin. We used to scare her younger brother all the time. We got him to believe in the boogyman. When our family would come together for birthdays, all of us kids would group together and play games. It was always funny to scare the daylights out of Jake.

_"I'll go over to her and see what's wrong. You can stay here, Sauli. I'm sure she might just be upset because I think her boyfriend did something that made her pissed and depressed. I'll be okay going by myself. You have Jessica and Amanda to talk to if you get lonely without me. I love you, Sauli."_ After I said that, I stood up and Sauli stood up with me. I told him I'll be okay without him going over there with me. _"Sauli, what are you...?"_ Before I could even finish my question, Sauli pressed his lips against mine. Kissing Sauli just feels right. I love it when he stops me mid sentence to kiss me. I'm sure everyone is watching our kiss. It's so passionate. Sauli pulled away and stared sweetly into my eyes. He whispered,_ "I love you, Adam."_ I truly believe him with every time he says those words. I whispered back to him,_ "I know and I love you too. You mean the world to me, Sauli. I promise I will never leave you."_ Sauli smiled, hugged me, and sat back on at the picnic table.

I am terrified about how Zoey will react to me going over to her. I don't know what the situation is, so I have no clue if I'll either hurt or help the problem. There might not be anything I can do to help her for all that I know. I try to stay calm as I get close to where she is. She hasn't even noticed me walking towards her. I haven't seen her look at me in a very long while. She's not staring at anyone right now at this moment. She's looking towards the river. I could only imagine about what she has on her mind. It's obvious to tell that something or more than one thing is stressing her out. Oh crap, I didn't pay attention to where I'm walking and just ran into a huge branch laying in the middle of the grass. That must have been loud enough for Zoey to hear because now she's staring at me. She doesn't look too very happy. She looks miserable. I stop and sit on a large rock for a second to make sure I wasn't hurt due to the branch. Oh no, I'm bleeding and it hurts really bad. I must continue walking over to Zoey, though.

I reach her and of course she acts like I'm not even there._ "Zoey, I've been noticing that you have kind of been pissed today. Did anything happen between you and Dimitri? I haven't seen you this pissed in a long while," _I said. I think I should have said that a little nicer. Now that I think about it, the way I said that made me sound like a smart ass. I didn't intend to do that. Oh great, I think I upset her even more than she was before. She looks like she's about to blow. I wish Sauli would be here with me now. She wouldn't get as pissy at me if I had Sauli with me to back me up and protect me at all costs.

_"Nothing about Dimitri and I are_ _any of your business! Dimitri isn't my problem at all. My problem, if you must know, is you and the rest of them here. I don't see what sick, twisted people would be okay with you dating another man. Don't you know that you are going to go to hell because of it? A relationship is supposed to be between a male and a female, which are opposite sexes. I can't believe nobody else in the family is standing up for what is right. They all will let you screw up your life just so you can be in a relationship with that loser you are with right now. I am disappointed in you and everyone else here. I was thinking that you and him had to be a joke. When I saw you guys kissing, that's where I drew my line. Nobody else showed displeasure in your guys' inappropriate PDA. Don't even think to call me family anyone. I have no intention of staying in a family where they allow same sex relationships. You know it's completely wrong and selfish for you to do. You might not care about your own soul, but I bet you care about your precious Sauli's. Do you really want him to go to hell because of you? He will and it will all your fault for not putting a stop to this inappropriate and disgusting relationship. You're so lucky he can't help you have kids because I don't want that gay gene to be passed down into our future generations,"_ Zoey said. All of that is really harsh. I don't know how I should reply back to such a cruel person. Her whole problem is my relationship with Sauli. I don't see how that's her problem at all. She's not the one kissing him.

_"Zoey, those are the most disturbing words that I have ever hear anyone say. That is not something for you to be proud about. I get a lot of crap about my sexual preference at school and none of them even know 100 percent if I am gay or not. That rumor has been going around since middle school and it's still very alive in high school. None of them have come up to ask me if it's true. They all are spoiled brats and don't care about the feelings that are being hurt when they insult me. No, I am not ashamed I'm gay. What does upset me is those people, like you, that tell me I'm going to go to hell for that. Have you ever been gay and gone to hell? You have no idea on who goes where. We do not decide where we go. So what that I'm gay? Does that make me a bad person to fall in love and be in love? I don't understand where the crime in that is. If it's a crime to love for me to love guys, then why isn't it a crime for you to love guys? What makes your choice of preference bad? I know you are probably going to say that you are trying to help me. Well, you're not helping anyone. I'm not going to 'go straight' to keep you happy. What really matters is that I'm happy. This is my life and nobody tells me that I can't date someone of my same sex. You know what, Zoey? I bet my relationship is healthier than yours. You know why I say that? Sauli has not cheated on me in our relationship. Dimitri cheated on you how many times? Wasn't it about 3 or 4 times? You should break up with him after the first time he cheated on you. You said you love him, though. You give him another chance and then he cheats on you again. You forgive him and then he goes and cheats on you 2 more times. You still forgive him. How is that nothing compared to Sauli and my relationship? Sauli hasn't cheated on me. I haven't cheated on him. If you wanted to ignite my fire, well you did it. You are not the cousin that I used to love. Your boyfriend has corrupted your mind. That comment you said earlier about Sauli was crude and you need a reality check. Sauli is no way a loser. If anyone were to be called a loser, that would be you. You're going against the whole family and bringing displeasure to the family. I hope you're happy with yourself. You turned what was supposed to be a happy event into a very angry one,"_ I said.

I must have really pissed her off. I watch her as she storms away to her vehicle to leave. She does manage to throw her phone at a tree to show her resentment towards me and the family. Her phone shattered all over the ground. It looks like we'll have a job to do before we end up leaving the park. We can't allow sharp, broken pieces off of Zoey's cell phone to be in the grass where a little kid could step on them or possibly try to eat them. That would be very bad. Zoey's younger brother, Jake, is walking towards me. I hope he's not angry at me for making his sister pissed. I honestly didn't think she'd get that pissed. Then again, I did bring up the fact that her boyfriend has cheated on her 4 times and she keeps going back to him.

_"Hey Adam, why did my sister just take out? She's the one who brought me here and now I don't have a way back home. I could tell that she was pissed at somebody or something. I'm worried about her, Adam. There's so many nights that she leaves our house so she can go over to Dimitri's apartment. I feel that she tries using him as an escape from the real world. You and I both know that he doesn't even care about her. He'll take any chance he can to have sex with her. When he can't get it from her, he goes and finds someone else that will. She might piss me off, but she needs to get rid of him for her own good. She can't keep thinking that he'll help all of her problems. I just wish she would realize that he will never stop cheating on her. She needs to see through all of his lies and false intentions,"_ Jake said.

_"I know, Jake. Dimitri has been only bad news for her since the beginning. The reason she left was because of me. All day she's been giving us all mean and pissy looks. I went to go ask her what's going on because that isn't the normal her. I asked her if something between her and Dimitri happened and that's when all hell broke loose. She snapped at me for bringing him up to her. She said the problem is Sauli and my relationship. She went on about how I'm going to go to hell for it. Zoey then tried to make me feel terrible by bringing up that our relationship could lead to Sauli going to tell and that if I truly do love him, that I'd end this relationship before it's too late. She called Sauli a loser, which is totally uncalled for. And then there came the remark that made me snap on her. She brought up that it's a good thing that Sauli and I wouldn't be able to have kids because we'd have future generations of gay children and that it would never stop."_

_"What did you say back to that, Adam? I'm sure that really pushed you off your edges and started a war into your eyes. I know you wouldn't take that bunch of crap from anyone. I mean, I bet you tolerate it at school, but here is a different story. I'm sorry that she brought up such things like that. I don't see why she can't be happy for you like the rest of us are. Your parents took it much better than her and they have more of a reason to be angry about it than she does. Zoey can be such an attention-seeking drama queen. Things have to be exactly how she wants them, otherwise she will throw a fit. I usually wish that she wouldn't be my sister. That is harsh to say, but she doesn't give me much to work with for being happy she's my sister. She usually bosses me around, even though she's only 6 years older than me. I just don't understand, Adam. I wish you would be my sibling instead of her. I know you'd be less stressful to have,"_ Jake said.

_"Thanks for that, Jake. What I said back to her is really hard to explain because I hit many different topics very hard. One of my main points was that if my relationship is bad, then how can her's be better than mine. I brought up that Sauli and I haven't ever cheated in each other, while Dimitri has cheated on her several times and she keeps crawling back to him. I also brought up that it's not fair that she can love a guy and it will be okay. Then when you look at me, it's considered like a crime to her for me to love a guy. Since she brought up going to hell, I brought that back up too. I said that she has no idea where gay people end up if she hasn't been gay and hasn't died. I think it's stupid that people say that we're going to go to hell. We honestly don't know where any of us will go. That's just a few of what I said back to her. I bet you can tell that I'm completely pissed,"_ I said.

_"Yeah, I can and that's completely understandable. She couldn't try to support you at all or even try to respect the relationship. I think we should head back to everyone else. They'll eventually hear about what happened between you two. They'll believe you're the one who's right though. I believe you're right,"_ Jake said.

Jake and I are heading back to the rest of the family. They all have confused faces. I look to where Sauli is. Sauli looks completely like a nervous wreck. I think he has an idea that he and I are the reason why my cousin freaked out. I get back to the table and Sauli gets up. He motions me to go somewhere away from the tables so I follow him. I have to tell him the truth in what all Zoey said. I hope he won't let her opinion get to him. She clearly has no heart or even a brain. Your sexuality doesn't determine if you go to heaven or hell. Your sexuality does not make you any less of a person. It also doesn't mean that you don't have feelings.

_"Adam, does your cousin hate me? I feel like she gave me the most pissed and annoyed stares that anyone has ever given me. I will win her over eventually,"_ Sauli said. Sauli thinks that Zoey just hates only him? That makes no sense. She doesn't even know him at all. She never tried even talking to him or me before I went over to her. She is in no condition to judge Sauli because she knows nothing about him, besides that he's gay and in a relationship with me. That's not enough to make someone hate you and only you.

_"The truth is that she doesn't hate you. She hates our relationship. Actually, Zoey hates any homosexual relationship. When I was talking to her, she made it clear that she hates any gay, bi, lesbian, or transgender people, especially when they are in relationships. Well, she said how I'm going to be going to hell because of it. She also said something about that if I really care about you that I'd break up with you so you won't go to hell. She ended saying that she's glad that you and I can't have kids because she doesn't want the 'gay' gene to go around for the next generations of offspring. I took care of it, Sauli. I told her off. I would not let her say that much hurtful, sick things about people like us and also you,"_ I said.

_"I understand if you don't want to be together anymore. I don't want to ruin your family. They all hate me and I won't let them shut you out because of me. I'm not worth all of that stress,"_ he said. Now Sauli is insecure. I can't let him think that way. I honestly don't care what Zoey had to say. She is the crappiest example of someone being in a loving and committed relationship.

_"Let me tell you something, I do not want to break up with you, Sauli! I am in love with you and whatever my stupid cousin says means nothing to me. She is the only one who disapproves of us. The rest of my family adores you to death already. Sauli, you have a huge part in my life and I'd never give you up without a fight. I will prove to you that I am very serious about you. I'd take a bullet for you anyday. I can't imagine what my life would be like if you weren't there beside me. When I'm with you, I get those little butterflies in my stomach. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I am always worried that I'll say something and it'd be taken the wrong way. Sauli, I love you and nothing is going to change that. Now, kiss me."_

Sauli pushed my hair back and came in close. He's holding me right up against him. He teases me with a bite on my neck. He giggles and slowly gets his lips onto mine for a kiss. This doesn't seem like an ordinary kiss that we have. This time seems even more passionate than all the rest of them so far. One thing I know that Sauli and I have is great intimacy. Our kisses do take a lot of time because he's the only one I want and he has that same feeling for me. If my life were to end now, I'd be happy if Sauli was holding me and if we were surrounded by Amanda, Jessica, Tommy, and my parents. These are the people who mean the most to me. They love me the greatest with their hearts. I wish this moment would never end.


	17. Chapter 16 - Love Is In The Air

** Chapter 16 - Love Is In The Air**

With another kiss we just shared, we return back to the rest of the family. Jake told me before we went back toward the tables, after Zoey left, that he'd tell everyone what went down. Sauli and I got back to the table and sat back down. What I thought was going to be a million questions about the incident with Zoey turns out to be questions for all of us seniors on what we're planning to do after we graduate. I was the first one to talk. I obviously mentioned that I don't know what my senior year will be like. With the fact that I have to leave for American Idol in January, I'll have to get taught while I'm there. I don't know what that's going to be like. I really wish I could continue going to my school, but I'll be too busy to make trips back and forth from here to there.

Jessica was the next one to discuss her future plans. It's been 5 years since Jessica fully decided on what she wanted to do. Ever since the seventh grade, Jessica has wanted to be an English teacher. Her plans with that have not changed since then. She also is thinking about being a psychiatrist, but she prefers to be an English teacher over it. Some of my family had to ask her what got her to want to be a teacher, especially for English. Jess smiled a little. I know this will lead to her telling a story. I was right. She's telling my family the story on why decided to be an English teacher right then and there. She explains that her seventh grade English teacher really made an impact in her life. This wasn't just an ordinary teacher to Jessica. She really looked up to this one. Jessica has been a good writer ever since I got to know her. This teacher made sure that she knew that she knew she was a good writer. This teacher also helped Jess become more social. She also somehow got Jessica to like reading.

Amanda was the next one to talk about her senior year. She didn't have too much to say, which doesn't surprise me. I know Amanda isn't familiar with much of my family. She tries to stay more reserved when she's around a bunch of strangers. Amanda told everyone about that she plans on being out for track later on in the spring like she usually is. She's saying that she isn't quite sure on what she wants to do yet, but she wants something to do either with music or photography. I have to admit that Amanda is amazing at taking pics. Maybe if she holds out on that idea and I get famous, that she can be my photographer. That would probably get her happy because she knows that I'd pay well and she'd get free access to my shows. Amanda does also show interest in music. She thinks she'd want to be a band teacher. She, Brittney, and Jess are all out for band. Amanda can play flute and trumpet. Jessica and Brittney both play clarinet. Sadly I can't really use any of them for a future band. I know Jessica wants to try playing guitar so maybe she'd be able to be in the band when school isn't going on.

My cousin Justin decided to speak up on what his future plans are. Justin right now is helping out on one of his uncle's farms. Justin is a country boy in a way. He and his family live out in the country. Justin doesn't know for sure if he wants to go to college or not. His parents really want him to go but he doesn't know if he will or not. Justin's saying that he hopes that he can easily graduate this year and maybe start college out in the fall. He said that he's undetermined on what he wants to do, but he has a liking towards farming so he'll major in something close to farming most likely. I look over towards Amanda and her eyes have gone wide. She's majorly crushing on Justin. I don't blame her at all though. Since Amanda is a country girl, of course she'd fall for a country guy. She's intrigued that Justin lives out in the country. She has fallen in love with him already. I really need to get them hooked up.

Now it's Sauli's turn to speak. I have never asked Sauli on what his future plans are. I am praying that he doesn't say he's going to move back to Finland. That would break my heart because then I'd probably never see him again, unless I have a concert there if I'd become famous. Sauli is beginning to speak and my heart is melting. One thing I love about Sauli is that he is so genuine to himself. He really hasn't tried getting rid of his Finnish accent like most foreigners would. It's easy to tell that he doesn't want to conform into an all American guy. That is a quality that I find really attractive. Sauli's saying that he wants to make it into the tv business and maybe do some modeling with it. Oh my gosh, he is really trying to make me melt into a pool of Adam. Sauli just said, and I quote, _"My main focus, whether I can get on tv/modeling or not, is on Adam. I want to be here, by his side. I want to keep encouraging him to carry on in his music, no matter what happens when he gets on American Idol. Adam is too talented to ever give on singing. I will never let him quit, even if he would lose confidence in himself. I will always be one of Adam's biggest fans."_

That had to be the sweetest thing that I've ever heard. I love this man so much. I can't control my emotions right now. Everyone is staring at me in a confused manner. None of them know the real reason why I'm crying, except Sauli might know. His words have clearly made me so happy that I have started to cry. I am beyond happy that Sauli has no intention to go back to Finland. He wants to stay here, with me, and help me pursue my music dreams. It gets harder for me every day to think about what would happen if Sauli would be removed from my life. I hope something like that will never happen. I try to look on the bright side; but that idea never gets out of my head. I fall in love just a little bit more each day with Sauli. He is my dream man. I can't stand everyone staring at me, wondering why I'm crying. I'm running off while crying and I refuse to look back at all my loved ones watching me. I need a moment to myself right now.

Nobody is coming after me. Sauli probably knows that I need to have some alone time. I stare out to the rest of my family and friends. Jessica must have invited Brittney because she just got here not too long ago. She probably texted Brittney to come since Amanda wouldn't give much attention to Jess since Amanda is all caught up in Justin. That probably annoys Jess a little but she has Brittney. I have been noticing lately that Jessica and Brittney are getting closer as friends. Amanda sometimes will ignore Jessica but Brittney rarely does. I look over and I see Amanda talking to Justin. I personally think that Justin and Amanda would make a cute couple. One similarity I see between them is their stubbornness. Neither of them likes to budge from their idea. I am kind of worried for Justin because Amanda does have a pattern of liking a ton of guys. I don't want Justin to have another bad relationship. I feel that Justin and Amanda are meant for eachother but I'm worried that it won't work out correctly. Justin has had a lot of problems with his girlfriends cheating on him.

I think it's time to go back to everyone. As I walk back, I see Sauli talking with my parents. I don't know if I should be happy or worried. I hope they're being nice to Sauli. I know they respect him, but that could always change. Oh, it looks like I have nothing to worry about. Except now I'm embarrassed since my parents are showing Sauli my baby pictures. They brought those on purpose. I can't go over there to them. I don't want to be around Sauli when he's looking at my baby pictures. It's kind of awkward lol. I hope these aren't the ones that I'm naked in the bathtub when I was a little baby. I'd take bubble baths because I liked popping the bubbles and it made the bath more interesting. My parents bought me some bath toys so I could play in the tub. I don't remember much of those times, except I remember I had a little rubber ducky. Some of the pictures I've seen of myself in the tub had my little rubber ducky in the bath with me. My mom liked to take a lot of pics where the bubbles would hide my little baby boy 'junk'. Lol thank goodness there's no more pictures of me in the tub.

My best bet is to go over to Brittney and Jessica. I know their conversation shouldn't be too awkward for me to be in. They probably aren't showing my baby pictures or flirting on each other. I would talk to my cousin Jake but it looks like that he's talking to his grandparents. I don't want to disturb them since they probably don't see each other that much. I see my grandparents quite a lot. One of my sets of grandparents live in the same town as me, while the other set lives about 20 miles away from here. It's not too hard for me to see them. I walk in on Jessica and Brittney's conversation and I'm already confused. I heard something about Brittney mentioning something about some kind of comic and Jessica said something about Chicago. I'm wondering if the two subjects mentioned are related in some way. _"What are you guys talking about?"_ I asked.

Jessica and Brittney looked at each other. What the heck, they're both laughing. Is it something I said that is causing them to laugh? I'm so confused right now._ "Well, if you heard anything about a comic, I guess I should explain myself. One day I came across this comic online, so I started reading it. It's about these two male characters that slowly fall in love. It's a picture comic and the the pictures get really detailed. There's parts where, umm, they're bathing together and stuff. It's kind of awkward but the main point of it is really good. You should read it. It's called Kaito and Shuno. I'd suggest don't read it unless you love dirty guy on guy action,"_ Brittney said.

_"Okay, that handles the first part on what I'm confused on. I heard Jessica say something about Chicago and it got me curious. Is the comic written in Chicago? Or are the comic and Chicago not related? I'm sorry for kind of being a little nosy. It's just weird to walk into a conversation like you two had,"_ I said. I really hope that I'm not sounding rude or anything. That is not my purpose to sound like a jerk. Actually, that would be one of the worst things for me to sound like. I hate being nosy, but I do it when I feel I'm obliged to. _"Lol you have everything mixed up, Adam. Brittney was done talking about the comic, so I started to mention Chicago because I can't wait until I get to go back there to see my relatives. It's been a long while since I've been there. I haven't gotten to be up there with my aunt since about 3 years ago. I really miss spending time with my favorite aunt. What I miss most of all is my sweet cousin, Elizabeth. I like never get to see her and it hurts. She's my favorite cousin. I said that I might be able to go back there during Christmas break or maybe Easter break or something. I need to see my relatives soon before I explode,"_ Jessica said.

_"Oh, that makes a lot of sense now. I thought that the two things were related somehow. You guys need to email me that comic. I want to see if it would be something that I might like. If I like it, I might just show it to Sauli. I would show Sauli it right away, but since I know he still has difficulty reading English, I don't want to push him too hard. I mean, I'd hate it if someone would try to hurry me on learning a new language. Sauli tries really hard and he's much better than most foreign people that come to the United States. I want him to take his own pace on learning English. He's slowly teaching me in Finnish. I want to learn because I want to be able to communicate with him in more than one way,"_ I said.

_"Does anyone else want to spy on Justin and Amanda as much as I do? I think it'll be funny to see what they're talking about. Plus, we can make sure that she doesn't say anything terrible about us or anything,_" Jessica said. Brittney and I nodded in agreement, so we slowly made our way to a couple trees that we could spy on them from. It kind of is my responsibility to keep a watch on Justin, since he is my cousin. I want to make sure that he stays appropriate and isn't rude to Amanda. I think that Justin is a gentleman, but I could always be wrong. I'd do the exact same thing even if it was Jessica, instead of Amanda, talking to him. I think of Jessica and Amanda as both sisters to me. I won't let either of them be mistreated by any guy, even if it's a relative of mine. They both deserve to have the best guy possible, and I hope it does end up that way.

Okay, they both are being appropriate. It is pretty evident that Amanda is flirting with Justin. Amanda is telling Justin on how she feels that he is super lucky to live out in the country. She just admitted that she wants to go over to his house someday, to get away from the loudness of the city for a while. She's telling him about her love for animals, especially when it comes to horses. When Justin said that his parents have a staple nearby their house, she almost had a heart attack. She's practically begging Justin on hanging out with her sometime. Oh, this is the biggest flirt I've heard from the conversation so far. Amanda just challenged Justin to a horse race and that if she wins, he has to do whatever she says for the day. Justin laughed but accepted the offer. He flirted back, saying that he can easily beat her and when he does, she'll have to hang out at his house more often. They both are totally flirting on each other. I think it's kind of cute that Amanda is falling in love with one of my family members. Oh wow, that conversation didn't last long. Amanda and Justin are both heading back to the tables. I gave Jessica and Brittney the signal and they both are coming back other towards me. I grabbed a frisbee before we left the table, so then we'd easily be able to say that we were throwing a frisbee while everyone else was talking. We grouped up and the laughter began. We all heard the exact same things, but we all had different angles on watching them. I could only see their backs. Jessica had a good view on Amanda's face and her body movements. Brittney had a good view on Justin's face and body movements. Jessica said that Amanda blushed and smiled a lot. Brittney reported that Justin was smiling about the whole time and looked like he was having a good time.

We headed back to the table. A lot of my relatives are close to leaving. I don't want this time to be over quite just yet. I have to accept that some of them so live a good few hours away and need to get home soon. I think I don't want them to leave yet because I was having such a good time today and I don't want it to end. Apart from the drama with my cousin Zoey, today was a great day filled with great conversations. It's hard to say goodbye to family that you see maybe once or twice in a year. I think I need to give a goodbye speech before all of them go. I need to let them know how special today was for me.

_"Hey guys. I'd like to say something before you all leave. If you could all have a seat, I'd like to say a few things. First and foremost, thank you all for coming to the picnic today. It's always great to see all of you guys. I don't see some of you enough in my life. You are always welcome to stop over for a visit. Second, I was amazed on how loving all of you guys are. When I walked out with Sauli, I knew I was taking a chance on losing a good amount of my family. Luckily, I only lost a cousin, but I'm sure Zoey will come around someday. I am truly blessed that you guys are giving Sauli and I a chance before you start judging us as a couple. We all know that my love life isn't the normal way most teenage guys my age go. I can't believe how much love and support you guys have for me. I'd like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making Sauli feel comfortable. That was a big worry for me about today. You guys made him feel a part of the family. Lastly, I'd like to thank everyone for helping me celebrate my victory onto making it to Hollywood on American Idol. As we all know, the journey for me has just started. We all don't know how I will do. I take off in January to see where the show will take me. I hope you all know that I will be giving it all my best for you guys. I will try communicating with you all as much as possible while I'm in Hollywood. Thanks all again for coming. I am blessed to have such an amazing family. I love you all so much,"_ I said.

Everyone was getting their last minute goodbye hugs. My relatives that lived farther away kept wishing me good luck on my senior year and also with American Idol. Most of the more distanced relatives are gone, except for Justin and his parents. Justin's mom walked over to me and Sauli. She said, _"I hope you two have a good time getting to know each other. I can tell that there is love blossoming here. Sauli, please take good care of Adam. He's going to need you to keep him sane. Don't be afraid to slap him if you need to. He sometimes does need a reality check. I'm going to love it when American Idol comes on in January so I can watch you, Adam. The best of luck to you and may the odds be ever in your favor. I'll be cheering you along with the rest of the family. I love you."_ After she said that, she kissed me on the cheek. Justin's dad came over and gave me a goodbye hug and told me that he's proud of me. Now Justin's coming over to me. This should be fun._ "Hey Adam. I had a really fun day today. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to call, text, or email me. My parents gave your parents a sheet with our family's contact information. You can give my email out to any of your friends. I was disappointed that I didn't get to meet Tommy, but there's always next time. See you later, cousin. I love you,"_ Justin said.

All my family that's left lives here in town or close to here. Jessica, Brittney, and Amanda are talking amongst themselves by the river. I'm sitting down with Sauli at the table, while the rest of the family is in the shelter, where the remaining food is. I wrapped my arm around Sauli as I stared into his eyes. He smiled and looked at me. While he's smiling at me, he managed to say, _"You know what, Adam? I can imagine myself apart of your family someday. I had a great time with you and them today. I love you, Adam. I wish I could spend all day with you tomorrow, but that's not possible since we have school. I am not afraid to show affection to you at school. I don't care what they say. I love you and I want to show you."_


	18. Chapter 17 - I'll Protect You

** Chapter 17 - I'll Protect You**

I don't want to go back to school after having such an amazing weekend. This weekend seemed so surreal, not like any other weekend in my entire life. First, I made it to Hollywood on American Idol. That has opened the door for me to possibly make it in the music business. Second, the party I threw was so fun. I know there was tension among Jessica and Amanda, but they made up so it's all okay. The third thing that made this weekend so great is that Sauli and I started dating. I never thought that would happen in a million years and now look. The fourth and final reason why this was like the best weekend ever is due to the family picnic. It was really great to see, talk to, and celebrate with my family. The only downer with that was my cousin, Zoey, throwing a tantrum. She was being rude to Sauli and the rest of our family. I know there's nothing that can get me out of school today. If I would skip, Sauli would think that I'm embarrassed by him. That would be in no way true. I am worried on how today is going to go, but more for Sauli than myself. I am used to most of the bullying by now, which Sauli is not. To my knowledge, Sauli hasn't been bullied yet. That's good but it makes me even more worried about him for today.

I decided to dress more appropriately for school today. I am wearing a Queen band t-shirt, that my dad ordered online, and a nice pair of blue jeans. I really wanted to wear my favorite pair of skinny jeans, but I wanted to play it safe for Sauli. He is going to get a lot of crap for dating me in the first place. Nobody at the school even thought that Sauli could be gay. They all warned him on the first day to stay away from me because I'm gay. Sauli was actually believed to be straight from what all of them think I'm no better, though, since I also thought that he was straight. I had a different reason than all the others did. I only thought he was straight because I had a huge crush on him. Most guys I kind of develop feelings for are straight so I assumed that Sauli was going to be another case of that. I always want what I can't have. This time I do have what I want, and I wouldn't want it any other way. Sauli is so dreamy, shy, and adorable. He also is a great kisser. He definitely beats Jessica in that category. That is just my opinion, anyway. It probably is just because I'm attracted to Sauli and I'm not really attracted to Jess. I would consider giving her some of my sperm if I'd want to have biological kids. I'm sure Jessica would be up for it. She would be the kind of person to help her friends out in whatever way possible. Plus, if the baby would share my genes with hers, we're basically guaranteed to have a baby with blue eyes. I find blue eyes beautiful.

I got to school and I was greeted by Sauli and the rest of my friends. Of course Sauli stunned me with his hotness again. He was wearing a cut off t-shirt, a leather jacket, and a pair of leopard skinny jeans. I really want to kiss him right now along with other stuff, but we can't since we're in school. Jessica and Tommy are talking about guitars. Jessica is practically begging Tommy to help her learn how to play guitar. Tommy told me the reason that he's turned Jessica down is because he can't handle criticizing her when she's doing poorly. Tommy knows that Jessica does exaggerate her emotions and it doesn't take much to make her crack. I think Tommy is going to give in to Jessica's request today. Jess is not going to stop with this. Oh no, she's starting to cry. Tommy's going to change his mind in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Lol I think this is funny. _"Okay, Jessica, I'll teach you all I know. Please stop crying, otherwise I'll change my mind,"_ Tommy said. Jessica stopped crying in an instant. Oh Jess, she's such a cruel person, but we all love her for that.

It sounds like Brittney and Amanda are talking about how their weekends went. Brittney didn't go to my family picnic so Amanda is catching her up on that. Brittney's face went from happy to disgusted in just a couple of seconds. Amanda must have gotten to the part about Zoey. Brittney supports same sex relationships just like all of my other friends, so probably hearing about Zoey's meltdown has made her get irritated. Amanda just got done telling her what happened. She decides to ask Brittney on how her weekend went. Brittney said that she had a lazy weekend, except for going to my party. She was sick yesterday it sounds like so Brittney rested and ate a lot of chicken noodle soup. I think it's funny how much Brittney loves chicken noodle soup. She makes it and has it like all the time. I think we all have food like that. I love making eggs and bacon. I am kind of obsessed with breakfast items.

_"Shall we get going to our lockers, Adam?"_ Sauli asked. I smiled and said, _"Of course, Sauli. I'll see you guys later."_ Sauli grabbed my hand as we began to walk away. Since we are seniors, our lockers are more separated from all of the underclassmens' lockers. Our lockers were on the other side of the school. To get to our lockers, we have to cross the student center, where most of the students are before school starts. Sauli and I are going to have to walk through the student center. I just hope they leave Sauli alone. I take full responsibility of any harm done to Sauli through the bullies. I have made it my job to protect Sauli, as much as I can. Nobody gets to him without going through me first. I tighten up as we make our way into the student center. Nobody is noticing us! They all must be caught up in their own conversations that they are not even looking towards us. This at least will get us safe up until first period. Sauli and I can hurry to our lockers, get our stuff, and quickly get to our first hour class. If we play our cards right, nobody will notice us going up to our first hour class. We got to our lockers and grabbed our items that we need for the morning. We held each others hands again and hurried through the student center. Thankfully, everyone is still caught up in their conversations. We zipped through there quickly and got in the hallway. We rushed into our first hour class and sat down. I can see the teacher decided to stay in his room early this morning. That's good because now we don't have to worry about being bullied, yet. Most of the students are frightened by this teacher. He is pretty muscular and has this voice that is loud and stern. He looks like the kind of guy that would work as security for a concert. Nobody wants to anger him.

The bell just rang. All of the kids are now scrambling to get to their chairs before they are called tardy. This teacher makes you get here on time or you'll get detention. He only doesn't give a detention to students that come in late that come with a note or a pass. There are obviously circumstances where you can't get to class at the right time. I barely have gotten any tardies during my high school years, but I know some people who have. Amanda usually tends to be late because she goes around with this one teacher, so she gets excused about all the time. Jessica really only is late when it takes her forever to finish a test in a class. Tommy usually gets a good amount of tardies also, only because his mom schedules all of his appointments during the first few hours of school. She knows otherwise that Tommy will forget to go to them unless it's right away in the day. Tommy is pretty lucky compared to me. I wish my mom would do that with all of my appointments. She schedules all of mine for after school. She has no intention of me missing out on any school.

We're half way through the day now. I'm surprised that nobody has said anything about Sauli and I. We've been holding hands when we walk through the hallways and people have noticed. They don't stop us, they keep on walking. They probably want to say something, but they are probably worried that they will be late to class. That's a positive thing about only having 4 minutes to get to your class in a big school. It does limit any possible bullying that could happen during those 4 minutes. The bad thing is that some seniors have a lot of free periods, so they don't have to go to a class. They can just go to the library or even go home during that time. It's lunch time now. Jessica, Brittney, Amanda, and Tommy joined Sauli and I to our table. Today's lunch is one of the best ones that the school makes. It's chicken nuggets, with potatoes, corn, dinner roll, and jello. It's one lunch that everyone always looks forward to.

Once we sat down, one of the biggest bullies came over to our table with his possy. I don't like the look of this._ "Hey, Adam. Is that your boyfriend? He looks like an ugly ass who was hatched from a hobo and an elephant. I thought you would have a much better taste than this,"_ Ben said. I was in no way going to let him say that about my Sauli. I stood up, got right all up in Ben's face and said,_ "His name is Sauli and yes he's my boyfriend. Now to everything else you said, I don't see why you were describing yourself instead of Sauli, since you brought Sauli up. Why don't you go back to the ugly troll and the bitch that raised you. You don't deserve to go to school with a disgusting face and personality that you have."_ That had to irritate him. His face is now boiling red and I can see the veins popping out of his head. This is not a good sign. I think I might have made him too angry. He looks like he's going to kill someone. _"I'm not going to hurt you, Adam. I can't say the same for your fucking ugly boyfriend,_" Ben said. Okay, he has went past my boundaries. He threatened Sauli and he called him ugly. I look over at Sauli and he's crying. I knew he wasn't used to things like this. Ben is going to regret saying that. Nobody insults my boyfriend and gets him to cry with getting away with it.

I saw that Ben started making his way over to Sauli's chair._ "Sauli, run!"_ I shouted. Jessica and Tommy escorted Sauli out. Amanda and Brittney backed away from the table and left. _"Awe, so sweet of you to protect your boyfriend. But Adam, that was a huge mistake,"_ Ben said. Ben extended his arm out to punch me, but I ducked right in time. I grabbed his leg and made him fall to the floor. I jumped onto him before he could get up. Ben had a good amount of muscle. He rolled me off of him. He then jumped onto me and neither of us could keep the other one down. I knew how wrestling went and we were rolling on the floor. Neither of us was going to give up any time now. I will not let him get away with what he said and did. I could see that Ben was starting to get a little tired out. I used this as my chance. One way to shut him up will be to kick/hit him where it hurts the most, at his penis. I took my chance. I got one hand free of his and used it to punch his nuts. I must not have hit hard enough because he's not crying in pain.

He is even more furious now, seeing that I just punched him in the nuts. He took his free hand and punched me right in the forehead. That surprised me so much that I went flying through the student center. I look around while trying to get up. All of the students are watching from the other side of the lunchroom. None of them are even trying to break this up. Ben charged up to me and kicked me in the stomach. I got up and kicked him a few times in return. Ben began punching my face continually and it really hurt. I have had enough of Ben and this fight. I took my opportunity. I found Ben's nuts, which I can tell is very small, just by the bulge in his pants. I thought of all the reasons why I'm pissed at him and released my foot. I kicked him as hard as possible in the crotch. He fell and started crying. I looked over to all the other students and they all look frightened. This is why you don't mess me with me, or more importantly Sauli. I won this match.

Brittney and Amanda came back with the principal. They must have told him the whole story because he doesn't look angry at me. _"Are you okay, Adam?"_ he asked me. _"I, I think_ _so,"_ I said. I began walking and I fell down onto the floor. I can't see anything. I can only hear._ "Someone call 911. Adam doesn't look in good condition."_ Jessica, Sauli, and Tommy must have came back. I can hear sweet Sauli's voice over by me. _"Adam, Adam wake up. I miss you. Please keep holding on baby. An ambulance will be coming shortly. Please stay strong, for me. I don't know what I would do without you. You are my life now. I love you,"_ Sauli said, as he was crying. I wanted to say something back but my mouth wouldn't move. I know I can't let myself die otherwise Sauli would be depressed for life. I have to keep myself alive, one way or another.

The ambulance must have arrived. I can feel my body getting loaded onto a stretcher. I can hear Jessica, Tommy, and Sauli sobbing very loudly. They must have agreed to let Sauli ride with me in the back. I felt like we started to move and move very fast. I continue to hear Sauli's crying. I really want to tell him that I'm okay and that we'll be okay, but I don't know if I am okay or not yet. I can't really see anything or move my mouth to speak. I have to breathe through my nose to stay alive, otherwise I'd probably suffocate. _"Adam, I love you,"_ Sauli said. He keeps saying that over and over again. I'm so happy that he does love me. That gives me reason to keep strong and keep myself alive. I'm sure Jessica would come with but her parents probably wouldn't let her. I wonder how my parents are taking this. I'm sure Tommy or Jess called them at their jobs. I really hope that I'm not worrying them too much. I shouldn't have gotten in that fight with Ben. I couldn't possibly let him hurt Sauli, though. I'd rather see me hurt than Sauli.

We came to a stop. We must be at the hospital right now. I feel the stretcher being lifted from the ambulance to the ground. Before I knew it, I had a lot of wind going in my face. They must be running my stretcher into the emergency room or something. I still can smell Sauli's cologne. He must be running with them. Maybe he's the only one running me to the emergency room. I keep thinking of what Sauli told me earlier. I must keep holding on, for his sake. We stopped and I felt myself being lifted onto a hospital bed._ "Adam, oh my sweet Adam. Please be okay. I love you , son. We can't afford to lose you. You are our only child, Adam, and we love you to death. We refuse to leave your side until you're all better."_ That was my mom. She and dad must be here. I can feel them slightly on my bed. Sauli is holding one of my hands I think. It's really hard to tell what's going on right now. I so want to talk but my mouth doesn't move. I'm super worried about that. I have never had such a bad situation like this in my life. I'm worried but I know Sauli and my parents are even more worried than I am. They hate seeing me hurt more than I hate being hurt.

I think I can hear what the doctor is saying to everyone in the room right now. _"Adam is in a slight coma right now. He can probably hear what we're saying but he can't see anything. He can also respond to touches, but his mouth doesn't want to move since it's really bruised up. I think that it'll take overnight for him to completely wake up from the coma. It could be sooner or later, though. You can touch him, but you need to stay away from his face because it's bruised very badly. He needs some stitches in his face which we'll start with first. You guys are welcome to stay here for however long you want. You can also leave whenever you want to. He'll need to apply this medicine to his bruises once he leaves. Adam is in a critical condition right now, but he'll be better in a few hours for sure."_ That's what the doctor must have said. I don't remember my mouth getting hit. Maybe I just didn't feel it at the time. _"Adam, hold on. We're all here now. Jessica, Amanda, Brittney, Tommy, your parents, and of course me. You need to keep yourself going for us. Just keep going baby. I love you so very much. I can't thank you enough for saving me earlier. I shouldn't have ran away though. I need to have your back like you have mine. That was the bravest and nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me. You are my everything, Adam,_" Sauli said.


	19. Chapter 18 - I Can't Remember Anything

**Chapter 18 - I Can't Remember Anything**

I can hear noises around me but I don't know where I'm at. I feel as if I'm some kind of bed. I can't be home because this bed isn't comfortable like mine at home. I can't see anything. Am I blind or something? I can't seem to remember anything from today. I don't even remember waking up. Where could I be and why am sleeping on someone else's bed? I wish I could see but I can't. I tried to say something but I only heard a moan, which I recognized as my own. Could this all be one of those terrible nightmares that you wake up from and remember every little detail? I hope not. I really am hoping this is a dream and not reality. I wonder where my parents are. They are probably worried about where I'm at. Then there's my boyfriend. I can't seem to remember what his name is right now but I remember he has blonde hair. He moved from Finland to the United States. I remember I'm head-over-heels in love with him. I also have no idea about my friends. I can only imagine what they are going through right now. I wish I could know where I'm at.

A light must have turned on because I have more of a glare from light in my eyes. It's still not enough for my eyes to open yet. Some people must have just entered because I can distinctly hear some voices. I can't pinpoint right now whose voices are here. _"Adam will wake up in about 5 minutes or so. Most of his senses are numb right now so he might have a case of amnesia when he wakes up. It's very vital that you give him the correct information if he does have amnesia because he will surely believe anything. Any false information would pass on through and it could change his view on things. You don't want to do that."_ Am I at a hospital? That sounds like something a doctor would say. How did I end up in a hospital? How bad of condition am I in? All these questions are haunting me. I really hope I feel better soon so I can find out what happened.

_"Adam, please wake up. You've been out for hours now and it's all my fault. You had to protect me and I shouldn't have let you do that. I should be the one in pain. I'm sorry baby. I need you to teach me how to defend myself so I can protect you. I want you to always be safe when I'm right there by your side. You are a miracle in my life. I really want to kiss you right now, but your lips are too bruised and swollen up. I must obey the doctor's orders. Oh Adam! Say something to let me know you can hear me. I miss hearing your sweet voice."_ That's my boyfriend. I can tell because of his Finnish accent in when he speaks English. I want to say something, but I don't know how it will come out. I decided to take my chance. I got the words I want to say drilled in my mind. I want him to know I'm okay.

_"I-I love you. Wait for me,"_ I managed to spit out. I couldn't tell if my voice sounded the same as it did before. I hope I didn't sound like an idiot. I want to sound my best for my boyfriend. It makes me smile that he knows just how he makes me feel. I feel as that I'm not alone when he's with me. We are alike in so many many ways. I must have protected him somehow because that's how I ended up in the hospital. I don't blame him though. It's all my own fault. I want to protect him because he is weaker than I am, both physically and mentally. He's not used to the bullying that goes on here. He might have had it better in Finland than he does here. Then again, he probably wasn't in an openly gay relationship when he was in Finland. His classmates probably didn't even know that he was gay. They just fit him as an outcast from the start. That makes me feel bad for him.

_"Guys, come in here! Adam talked to me! I'm not going crazy either! He's here and can hear us! You have to hurry. I think he's going to wake up any second now!"_ he shouted. I wonder who's all here. Am I really going to wake up any second? I still feel stiff and it kinda hurts to move. Whoever was here waiting for me must all be back. It sounds like they ran because I heard someone slam into the door. That had to hurt. I'm guessing that it was one of my best friends. One of them is so very clumsy. It also could be my parents though. They're probably very excited that I'm about to get out of this state of unconsciousness.

I can feel my eyes twitching, telling me that they want to open. It hurts to have my eyes opening but I know I must. I need to see what I'm missing out on. I also want my loved ones to stop worrying about me. My eyes are now open so now I can examine where I'm exactly at. As I guessed correctly, I am in the hospital right now. I'm in this room where there's light blue walls, a couple windows, and it's own very bathroom. I keep searching the room to see who is all here. I found them. I see my parents, my boyfriend, and a few of my close friends. I saw my boyfriend smile at me as we made eye contact. That made me smile for a second. I immediately stopped smiling since it hurt my mouth. All of them made their way over to my bed. My boyfriend grabbed my hand and lightly rubbed it against his face. My parents brushed their hands through my hair, in a loving, caring way. My friends came and sat on the edge of my bed. They started crying._ "I love you all so much. Now what happened?"_ I asked. I looked around at all of them and they all nodded at each other.

_"Adam, let me explain to you why you're here. It was our first day back at school, where we showed that we're in a relationship. You and I were holding hands throughout the day. It wasn't until lunch until we came across a problem. One of the bullies in our school came over to our table. This guy obviously didn't approve of our relationship. He insulted me, which really pissed you off. You made a very nice comeback at him. He threatened me and that made you go crazy. You threw yourself at him and that started the fight. You yelled at me to run, so I did. You and him were throwing punches and kicks at each other. Well, I got back with the principal and you were sort of out cold. We called 911 and got you to the hospital as quickly as possible. It's all my fault why you're here, Adam. You can hate me all you want for this. I shouldn't have let you fight my battle for me. I feel so bad now. If you won't come out okay from this, I will never forgive myself. I just want to cry,"_ Sauli said. I could hear my parents telling him, _"It's not your fault, Sauli. Adam would do that for anyone he loves that is threatened by others. He will come out better than ever through this. You just have to have faith, Sauli."_

Oh, that's right. His name is Sauli. I can't believe I forgot that. I need to comfort him in some way. I don't really want to talk since it does hurt to move my mouth. I will do it though for Sauli. _"Sauli, don't blame yourself. I love you and I wouldn't be able to see you in the pain I'm in right now. I'll be alright, I promise you,"_ I said. Sauli moved closer to where I'm at. His face is right above mine. He did stop crying. I could gaze into his eyes all day. His eyes are very red from crying, but they still are that pretty royal blue color. I can just see the pain in his eyes as he looks right into mine. The doctor just walked into the room. He saw everyone crowded around me. He had them create a gap so he could take a look at me. _"He looks like he should be free to go. We'll give him some pain medication so it should help with his mouth and his eyes. Adam needs to take it easy for the rest of the day and for the next few days. I'd advise no school because it's not like he would be able to concentrate with all of the aches from the bruises. I'd suggest someone stay home and watch him to make sure he takes it easy. I know how you guys said he loves to sing. However, you can't let him sing until he comes back in a few days with his appointment and he gets the okay. He can talk, but right now it really hurts him to say anything. You might want him to talk a little throughout the day. I'd have him also right now or maybe even type if he needs something. He will need to apply this medication to him lips for about every 6 hours for the next 3 days. It will sting at first, but the more times he has it applied, the less of a sting it will be. I'd bet him on a regular time schedule for when he needs it applied to his lips. I normally suggest 12:00 AM, 6:00 AM, 12:00 PM, and then 6:00 PM. That gets a good amount of sleep time plus you can hit meal times with 3 of those times easily. Well, do you guys have any questions for me?"_ the doctor asked.

_"Yeah, I'm just wondering if any of Adam's eating habits should change with the way his mouth and lips are. Will he only be able to eat liquid and soft foods? Or would he be able to still eat things, such as steak and kale?"_ my mom asked. Of course she had to bring up the fact that I like to eat kale. I do have a thing for my green vegetables. I'm no vegetarian, though. I do love my fair share of steak, turkey, chicken, and others. _"Well, it'd be less painful and easier for Adam to eat softer foods. He could probably eat steak, but it'd probably cause him a lot of pain to eat it. If he wants to have harder foods, you could probably put them in a blender and get them softer. That's the best advice I can offer you. Tonight, he needs to for sure eat those kind of softer foods. The better his mouth feels, the more stuff he could probably eat without being in so much pain."_

_"What kind of other pain killers would you suggest him to take besides the specialized one for his lips? Is any kind better than others or not?"_ my dad asked. _"Well, there really is none better than the others. Take whatever one Adam prefers the most. Make sure you only take 500 mg at the most for 6 hours. You do not want to accidentally have him overdose on painkillers. That always has many consequences to the individual and you wouldn't want that to happen to him. There's always that chance of death when ou overdose. So in other words, make sure he doesn't overdose no matter what."_

Nobody else must have any more questions for the doctor because they are having me stand up. Sauli and my father are on both sides of me, making sure that I don't fall over accidentally. My friends are behind me, most likely making sure that I'm okay. My mother is walking in front of all of us so she can unlock our little Silver Hyundai Tucson. It's been awhile since I've had to be in the back of it. I usually just drive my car because my parents need the SUV for work. My mom is usually the one to take it with her to work. My dad usually drives our Black Ford Fusion to his job. Then I take my 1999 Gray Ford Contour to school with me to school. I wanted to get myself up in the back, but Sauli didn't want me to possible hurt myself any more. He picked me up and gently put me down in the back seats. He put me down so that I could have a seatbelt on, but I could have my legs extended on the other seats. I wanted Sauli to stay with me but he drove his car over to the hospital. My friend that has the short brown hair accompanied me in my car with my parents. I feel really bad for forgetting her name. I don't remember much clearly. I don't think I could even remember who I fought against in trying to protect Sauli. I want to confront this guy when I'm feeling a lot better. I hope I taught him a lesson not to mess with the people that I love. I don't take bullies like that very lightly.

The drive back home was a very long long one. My parents decided to go get a bite to eat since they haven't eaten for hours. We went through the drive thru at Dairy Queen. My parents know me so well. They got me a large chocolate chip cookie dough blizzard. I don't know if I could eat the whole thing right now, but it's worth a shot. I am really hungry right now. Besides, if I don't eat the whole blizzard, I could just store it in the freezer until I'm hungry again. It does make me sad that I can't sing until I get the doctor's okay. I love singing. I really need to start focusing on what I need to improve on before I go to Hollywood. I know I got comments from the audition that I'm a little too theatrical. I understand that I am just because I have been in many plays and musicals ever since I was younger.

I know my friend's name is Jessica. I know this now because my parents asked her what she'd want from Dairy Queen. Of course she also wanted a blizzard. She went with a mint chocolate chip one. Jessica does have an obsession to mint and chocolate together. When we're at her house and there's mint of anything open, she'll claim it to be hers. I think that's kind of funny and cute at the same time. I'm sure whenever she gets a boyfriend, he'll have a fun time with her. She really tries enjoying every moment in life. I know the right guy will come into her life soon enough. I know Jess is really freaking out about her senior year. I know she's worried about her grades, especially when it comes to those college courses. She wants to get out some of the credit hours for college so she might have to go one less semester than what most people who are going to be teachers do.

Sauli beat us back to my house, just because he didn't stop to get anything to eat. He probably is just going to make something while he's at my house. With knowing how Sauli is, I'm guessing he's not really going to leave my sight as long as I'm hurt. He's probably gonna skip out on school so he can stay with me and watch me. Sauli also wouldn't want me to be lonely. I'm not going to ask him to stay with me but I'm sure he's going to. He is so adorable. I am very lucky to have him in my life. I have never had someone who loves me like this. He cares about me so much and he always shows it. Sauli unlocked our door and came rushing over to me in the SUV. Jessica jumped out so Sauli could have more room to work with. Sauli did manage to pick me up once again. He carried me into the living room and gently laid me down on the couch.

The rest of my friends showed up at my house a little bit later. Amanda, Tommy, and Brittney all just walked in. They each are carrying a bouquet of flowers. Tommy also has a box of chocolates and some DVD's for me to watch. I'm so surprised on how much love I'm getting from everyone. I have the best family and friends that I could ever ask for. I shut my eyes, hoping that I could catch some sleep. I was fully aware on what was being said. It sounds like Jessica and Amanda got into another argument. Those two are definitely opposites. I can't exactly classify what this argument is about. I think it is about how Jessica said she'll skip school to help Sauli take care of me. Amanda must hate this idea because she's calling Jessica dumb for even considering that as an option. Jess did not take that criticism well at all. She told Amanda to mind her own business and to worry about her own schoolwork. She also just compared her grades to Amanda's, showing that Jessica gets much better grades than she does, even when Amanda is taking a little easier classes than Jess. I just want to tell them both to stop with the arguing. I am trying to sleep but it's hard when they both are yelling at each other. I know Tommy and Brittney are working on splitting them apart for a little while. Brittney must have went with Amanda and Tommy with Jessica. I'm surprised that Amanda didn't try to have Tommy go with her. She's probably still mad about the whole kiss that he and Jessica had.

_"Sauli, kiss me. I can't fall asleep and I want your touch. I want you, forever. I love you,"_ I said. Sauli looked right into my eyes. I could tell that he does get so emotional when I tell him that I love him. I find that very attractive. I will never forget to let Sauli know how I feel about him. I honestly want him for the rest of my life. If maybe someday gay marriage would be allowed, I would want to marry him. He is everything I would want in a husband. _"Adam, you know what the doctor said about your lips. Trust me, I want to kiss you so very badly, probably as much as you want to kiss me. I can't risk you being in more pain just because of a kiss though. When your lips are mostly healed and you want a kiss, I'll give it to you then. Until then, I'll kiss your forehead, your neck, and wherever else it wouldn't hurt you. I need you to heal correctly,"_ Sauli said. After Sauli said that, he brushed his hand through my hair and continuously began kissing my forehead. I'm so happy right now, even though I am hurt.


	20. Chapter 19 - By My Side

Chapter 19 - By My Side

I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Sauli. He has his cute little smile. Wait, what time is it? I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. Somehow my phone didn't get damaged in the fight I had. Is it really 8:30 in the morning? Crap, I'm late for school. I try to get up but Sauli stops me. _"Adam, you have nothing to worry about. There's no way you're going to school today. I'm sure your legs and arms are fine, but you still have problems with your eyes and mouth. Please, go and rest. If you need anything, tell me and I'll get it for you,"_ Sauli said. I smile at him, still just as confused as ever. What could seriously be that hurt to keep me home from school? Why is Sauli staying here with me instead of going to school? I don't want to be the cause of Sauli possibly failing a class or two._ "Sauli, you should go to school. I don't want you getting too behind that you'll have a lot to catch up on. I'll be okay here by myself. You go, please,"_ I said.

Sauli bursted out in laughter. Did I say something that funny? _"Adam, I'll be okay. Look, you don't know how bad of condition you are in because of me. I owe you this. I will be fine when we go back to school. Jessica and Tommy are willing to bring whatever homework they can to us. I'm sure Amanda and Brittney will make sure they stay on task. This is no big deal, really. The doctor wants you to just relax for a couple days. You need to take it nice and easy. I know you way too well. I knew that you'd still try to go to school. There's no way you'll go to school if I stay here with you. Your parents and my parents both know that I'm going to keep a watch on you. None of them had a problem with it. My parents love you to death. When I explained that I could be dead right now because of Ben, my parents were shocked that you protected me. They thought that you and I just had puppy love. When they hear that you risked your life to save mine, they see just how much in love we are. My parents are so grateful to you, just like I am. You are my hero, Adam. I can't ever thank you enough,"_ Sauli said.

I don't know how, but Sauli just managed to make me cry. Yeah, it does hurt extremely bad to cry. I can't stop crying nonetheless. Sauli's speech knocked the air out of me. I am completely speechless. I have never heard such sweet words ever before in my entire life. Sauli dazzles me all the time. He has the sweetest personality of anyone I know. Jessica is sweet too, but Sauli outbeats her. She would be a close second, however. They both have a way with words, like nobody else does. Even when my parents tell me the encouraging kind of speeches, I really never start crying to them. It does make me determined and happy, but doesn't give me that extra push that Sauli and Jessica end up doing. I feel as if Jessica and Sauli can connect to me in more ways that my own family can. I love my parents, but I feel as if sometimes they are a little too old fashioned.

Sauli saw me and took a seat on the couch, right beside me. He began to softly push my hair back with his hand. I take a peek to see what he might be thinking about. He tugged me a little bit closer to him. My head is now on his chest and I'm still crying. Sauli puts his arm around me._ "It's okay to cry, Adam. My arms are wide open for you,"_ he said. That just made me want to cry even more. I hid my face in his shirt as I continue to cry. I feel bad because my makeup is smearing all over me and it's going on Sauli's shirt. I feel perfectly safe in his arms. I wish I'd never have to leave them. It feels so natural to be with him. Only if life could be more simpler, I wouldn't have to hold back so much. Sauli has still yet to see a lot of what makes me, me. I don't like opening my heart to just anyone. I take a lot of time to really open up. I want to be sure that it's worth it and special.

_"Sauli, there is one thing I really want right now,"_ I said between sobs. There he goes. Sauli moves his area of focus to my face. He's staring deeply into my eyes. I can't tell what he's thinking right now. I can't tell if he's happy that he can be useful now or sad that he will have to leave my side possibly._ "What is it, my sweet Adam? I can get you whatever you want, I promise,"_ he said. I smiled as I already know the answer to his question. I really want Sauli right now. I want to feel his lips pressing upon mine. I know Sauli would turn me down, since it is doctor's orders. I know he'd want to but he wouldn't to keep me out of pain. I had to think of a back up answer to give him. Well, I am kind of hungry. I think I must have passed out sometime during the night. I think Jessica, Amanda, and Brittney were still here when I finally started falling asleep. I know I am quite a heavy sleeper. That will be a good thing if I become famous. I know my sleep would be quite limited. That means that whatever time I get for sleep better be great. I'd be screwed if every little noise would wake me up.

Oh right, I still need to answer Sauli's question. _"I really want some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I'm sort of hungry since I didn't eat anything when we got back home last night. I think I still have some of my blizzard out in the freezer. I know I didn't eat it. Now if Jessica got her hands on it, it'd probably be long gone. I can only hope that she didn't go in the freezer and see it. She did have her only blizzard anyway."_ Her with her obsession to mint is something I don't think I will ever understand. In my opinion, mint tastes okay. I just don't like how close the flavor is to most toothpastes. The taste of mint gets boring to me after years of brushing my teeth. It doesn't seem to have much effect on Jessica. She could eat mint ice cream nonstop, if the chance were to ever come up. That's how much she loves it. I think she could live off mint ice cream for maybe a good 5 years without getting bored and annoyed of it. That's just what I think. I probably am taking it to the extremes.

Sauli chuckled and smiled right at me._ "I'd be honored to go get you your blizzard, Adam. If by chance that Jessica or someone else ate it already, I'll quickly make a run to Dairy Queen and get you another one. Nothing is too much when it comes to you. I was originally thinking that you were going to ask me to kiss you, which I would have turned down. That would be for your best interest. That's why I started giggling a bit. I never would have thought that you'd be wanting your blizzard right now. It does make sense to me, however. A lot has gone on lately and you haven't been reaching the 2,000 calorie intake. That is not good because you could easily faint if you don't get enough food and water in your system. I wouldn't want that for you,"_ he said.

Sauli got up and left to go into the kitchen. I almost wanted to say that he was right on his first guess on what I wanted. I was correct in what he'd think to it. He cares too much for me that he listens to the doctor's advice carefully and follows it to the best of his ability. That is very adorable even if it stops me from getting what I really want. Besides, when I fully heal, things will go back to the way they were before. Nothing can stop me from kissing Sauli once I'm healed. I mean that. My heart really wants to feel that spark from when we kiss. Too bad the spark can't come when he brushes his hands through my hair. That seems like his alternative to kissing me on the lips. He also does kiss my forehead and neck, but it doesn't feel the same. It's not as intimate when it's that way. Sauli knows that too.

He came back and my face lit up when I saw my recognizable cup from last night. Jessica did manage to avoid seeing my blizzard or she left it alone for my sake. Anyway, it's still here! Speaking of Jessica, I wonder how all of them are doing without Sauli and I there. I feel too weak to send a message to her or even to call her. _"Hey, Sauli. Can you call Jessica to see how they're dealing without us there? I'm really worried about all of them, especially Tommy and Jess. Right now should be their lunch time so we shouldn't be interrupting any classes that they have,"_ I said. I can't believe I am this worried about my friends. They should all be more worried about me than I am about them. Then again, they can't call me all the time because they do have homework to do and probably things to study for. Sauli nodded as he grabbed his phone out of his back pocket. I saw him press just 1 button and he easily got Jess. I'm guessing that he put Jess on speed dial, like he did for me. Of course I'm speed dial 1 though. Jessica is probably on speed dial number 2 or 3. I know she'd want to be 3 because that used to be one of her lucky numbers. Of course Jessica makes it so obvious that her lucky number is 12. It is part of her birth date, so it does have some significance to her. it's not just a number that she made up in considering a lucky number. She's so excited because her eighteenth birthday will be on November 12 in the current year, which is 2013. So her birthday will be 11/12/13. She gets a kick out of it. She's going to have way too much fun with it the closer the date gets here. Oh, Jessica never ceases to amuse me. I love her as a sister so it's alright.

Sauli ended up putting Jessica on speaker phone so I could hear what she's saying. I guess they all are doing fine, but they do miss me though. Jessica said that she's going to give me a huge bear hug when Tommy, Amanda, Brittney, and her come over to give Sauli and I our homework for the day. I hope she won't hug me too tight that she'll suffocate me. I don't think she's strong enough to do that. That's not a bad thing and not an insult. I'm just saying that it'd be creepy if she'd have that kind of power in her. I'd make her go out for sports if that was the case. Obviously there's no sport where you can suffocate anyone without getting in trouble for it. There goes that idea.

Our conversation with Jess was cut short when their bell rang. Jessica doesn't want to afford to be late to a class. She always likes getting to her classes with a lot of time left. If you'd watch what she does before a class starts, you can usually notice her writing something. I think it's usually one of her poems. She's just a natural when it comes to writing them. I'm the same way when it comes to writing music. The similarity between the both of them is writer's block. My ideas for lyrics come usually when a really great or tragic event happens. The good thing is that I only have to wait a little over 2 hours until all my friends get over here. I really have missed seeing them. It feels weird to stay home on a school day.

I feel like I could use a nap before anyone else comes over here. Sauli said that I can feel free to sleep whenever I want. He said that he'd keep a watch on the things around the house. Sauli is so nice to me that he volunteered to do my chores for me. He might be currently putting in a load of clothes into the washer. This is one reason why my parents love him so much. He's doing my chores for me because I am hurt. That shows to my parents that Sauli doesn't wait to take the risk of me getting hurt. I really do love this man. He's everything that I've always wanted. Every time he smiles at me, my heart just seems to melt.

I wake up to the door slamming. This better be good because I was having an incredible dream that Sauli was in. I look towards the door and I'm surprised by who I see. Jessica is back. What's she doing here so early? School is still going on right now. It's only 2:25 in the afternoon. School doesn't get put until 3:05 in the afternoon. I am so confused. _"Jessica, did you skip out class?"_ I asked her.

Jessica looked over to me and just started laughing. What's so funny?_ "No, I didn't skip out on class, Adam. Lol you forgot that I have PE during my 8th hour class. Today is Tuesday, so I don't have PE class. I have a free period now so I decided to come to you early. Tommy will be here when school actually gets done. Well, thanks to Ben with starting the fight with you, we had an assembly about bullying. This assembly was like no other, though. The principal banned Ben from ever returning back to school or school events. He'll have to go to another school. Also, the principal had Tommy and I speak to the school. He thought that maybe if we'd describe how bad you look now and what all happened, that maybe kids would stop being so mean. Tommy went into a heartfelt speech about what it was like to see you lifeless when you were in the hospital. He gave a comparison like this: 'the reaction I had when Adam opened his eyes for the first time after the fight would almost like seeing your baby brother or sister being born. There was so many tears of joy and happiness.' I felt that was a very intimate connection and a lot of people really felt it. I talked about how it's not fair to discriminate anyone. I called some people to come up to the stage. I brought up one of the jocks to show my point. He's smart, handsome, and athletic. The thing that most people don't know is that he does have poor eye vision and wears contacts. I said that if he were to wear glasses, people would call him a nerd and probably get him to quit football. I took myself as an example next. I said that I'm one of those people who aren't popular. That is true, as everyone knows that. I said that since I'm not popular and I wear glasses and contacts, that not many people want to even talk to me based on rumors that have passed. I brought up the rumor that was started before our freshman year by this one guy in our grade. I didn't say his name, but I looked at him the whole time while talking about it. I told everyone if they don't quit bullying people based on who they are, that they will have a not so fun life. If they have to make their lives better by putting someone else down, then they should get a better group of friends or something. That's what basically went on,"_ Jessica said.

I blinked in shock after Jessica got done telling me about what happened. It would be amazing if this situation with me could touch some of the bullies in our school. My life has never really ever been too easy. Ever since word spread out that I could be gay, my life has had a lot of down points, mainly because people are ignorant and believe everything they hear. Words cannot express how much Jessica and Tommy have made me proud today. I know Jessica is still on the shy side, so that had to take a lot of guts to stand in from out about 500 people and speak about herself. Tommy is also quite shy and not much of a emotion-showing guy. He spoke about me in what a way that I'm sure tears were about to run down his face. I could never have asked for this kind of reaction from me starting a fight. The results right now only seem to be in a positive direction for the rest of the school.

_"Jessica, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I never have understood why I have such an amazing friend like you. You truly are there for me whenever I need you. I want to tell you that I love you. You are like an older sister, always looking out for me. You pick on me, we fight, we talk it out and we love each other wholeheartedly. I am in awe of how lucky I am to have you be a sister to me. Your speech and Tommy's speech might have made an impact on at least a few peoples' lives. We can only hope that they did. I can't wait to see Tommy and be able to express my gratitude towards him as well. I know how you really don't like hugs, but I want one from you right now. Come here, please,"_ I said. Without hesitation, Jessica began walking to me. I stood up because I needed to stretch and hugs are easier standing up. Jessica wrapped her arms around me and lightly hugged me. I think she started to cry. I patted her back and smiled down at her. I wish she could understand how beautiful she is, inside and outside. Jessica is such a sweet and caring person.


	21. Chapter 20 - Love Reveals All

Chapter 20 - Love Reveals All

I cannot begin to explain the delight that came to me when Tommy walked through the door. Since Jessica told me about what happened at school, I knew that Tommy said a speech dedicated to me. Tommy could have helped make the school a better place. I think it's funny that he's completely confused on why I'm so happy. Jessica must have not told him that she told me about the assembly. I really want to tell him why I'm so happy right now, but I love making him nervous._ "Adam, did you and Sauli, well, you know? Did you guys do it or something? You seem so unrealistically happy. I wouldn't think you would be this thrilled about missing out on school and being injured. I bet you are enjoying your time away from the preppy kids in our school. That's one reason why I wish I could be in your shoes right now,"_ Tommy said.

Did Tommy just ask me if Sauli and I had sex? That didn't get awkward at all. I can honestly say that Sauli and I are not even close to having sex. We still are getting to know each other more. I also don't want to have sex with anyone. I want to save it for the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm also nervous about how my first time would go. The most important reason to why I'm waiting is that I promised myself that I would not even consider it until after I'm out of high school. I know obviously that there's no way Sauli could get pregnant or me for that matter, but that still doesn't change anything. Sauli and I can be intimate without having sex. Our kisses are very intimate and passionate. That's more than enough to satisfy Sauli and me. I don't know what Sauli thinks about the whole sex matter. Sauli went outside to water my mom's plants so he didn't get to hear Tommy say that. Jessica could have heard it. She was in my kitchen when Tommy said it, which is just a couple rooms away. Tommy didn't say it that quietly anyway. I think he wanted to have someone else hear it, like Jessica.

_"No, Tommy, Sauli and I didn't do it. I might as well tell you. Jessica told me what happened at school today. She told me about the assembly that you guys had to go to. Jessica told me that you and her gave speeches about what happened. Tommy, that's why I'm so happy. You and Jessica proudly stood up for me. You two could have just ended a little bit of the bullying that goes on at our school. I can't thank you two enough for going out of your comfort zones to talk about this. I don't have that many close friends, but I know I have some really amazing ones. Brittney, Amanda, Sauli, Jessica, and you are like family to me. I know that each and every one of you has my back. With saying that, I am so blessed that I get to spend my life with you guys. No matter where life takes us all, I hope that nothing can separate our friendships. I love you all so much,"_ I said.

Jessica and Tommy must have been touched with what all I just said. Jessica fell down onto the couch and was crying. Tommy was hiding his face, which he only does that when he's crying or when he's embarrassed. I'm pretty sure that he's crying right now. I can hear quiet sobs from somewhere. Jessica is wailing her sobs so it really can't be her who's making the quiet sobs. That is highly unlikeable. Tommy is trying to calm down from what I can see. He's wiping away his tears as he slowly removes his hands from his face. I feel kinda bad for making Tommy cry. He always tries putting on the tough guy face when he's actually a sweetheart. Jessica has sometimes called him a big teddy bear. Her explanation for the nickname is that he's dependable and that he is really soft and cuddleable. Jessica loves running her hands through his hair. I think they would be a cute couple, but I highly doubt that will happen. They seem too much in the friend zone right now. I would 100% support them if they ever do decide to start dating. They would be very cute together, at least I think so.

The rest of the day went fairly well. Brittney and Amanda came over not too long ago. They both had a lot of homework to finish before they came over to my house, not to mention a lot of chores also. We are currently in the process of watching all of the Paranormal Activity movies out so far. There's four of them currently in the series. We just started watching the second one. The first one really isn't that scary. Jessica has watched all of the movies multiple times so she rarely gets scared during any of them. The second one is scaring me a little bit. I'm super nervous about the third one. From what Jessica has said, the third one is the scariest of all of them.

Sauli and I are cuddled up on our only loveseat in the living room. Amanda, Brittney, Jessica, and Tommy are all respectively on the couch, in that warned me before that he doesn't cope well with scary movies. He said that back in FInland, they produce a lot of scary movies and put them in the theaters. Sauli says that he's seen more than enough scary movies to satisfy him for the rest of his life. I had to try calming him down somehow. I started running my hands through his hair and giving him little pecks on the cheek. _"Adam, I might just hate scary movies, but I love cuddling up to you during them. I know at any time that I don't want to watch that I can just hide my face into your shirt. You won't think of me as a baby or a coward. You will try to comfort me in the best way possible. I know when I am in your arms that I am safe. There's no place I'd rather be than in your arms. I love you so much,"_ Sauli said. That almost made me cry. Sauli is the sweetest man on this Earth. You can always tell just how sincere and honest he really is. He doesn't just say these things without meaning them. I know I can trust Sauli 100% on having meaning behind all the sweet things he says.

_"Sauli, you know you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am not exaggerating that either. Until I met you, I've always felt a little bit on the lonely side. I knew that there was a piece of my heart missing. I tried filling that piece up with my friends as much as possible. The thing was that I was missing out on love. I would watch all these couples date and here is me. You are my first boyfriend and the only person I've ever been in a relationship with. Jessica has had a few boyfriends here and there. Amanda has had a little more than Jessica. Still even with that, I've always felt like a loner. Then you come and change my whole world around. I immediately knew that you and I would get along. Since I've never been in a relationship before, I didn't know what to do to ask you out. I was so nervous about asking you out on a date would scare you away from me. I thought you were too perfect to actually be a choice for me. When we started dating, I tried asking Jessica, Amanda, and Brittney of any advice they would have on relationships. They gave great advice, for the most part. Now that you're here with me, I can fully say that I'm happy you're my first boyfriend. Nobody else in this world would be worth it,"_ I said.

Before I knew it, Sauli's lips were on mine. This kiss is so very passionate and intimate. The love that I have for Sauli never stops growing. I have watched myself go to crushing on him, to falling in love with him, and now being in love with him. I know many people would argue that I'm not really in love with that man. I know we are young and a lot of teenagers just think that they are in love. It is much different when it comes to me. I knew I could see forever with Sauli just when I met him and started talking to him. Sauli and I have a more complicated relationship more than most people do. In today's world, there is still hate on the LGBTQ communities. It has gotten to be more of an issue lately, which is a good thing. People in this generation are changing this country for the better. There is 13 states plus Washington DC that accept gay marriages. Yes, that is a great number. The thing that gets to me is that it's just a small portion of the 50 states. There is so much inequality in all of those other 37 states. We are just starting to make progress. I hope that if I have kids, that they will be able to live in a country that treats their citizens the same. It shouldn't matter if you are black or white, gay/straight/bisexual, religious or not. What matters is that you get treated equally for the person you are that can't or won't change. That is my view on our path to equality.

I turn to look to Jessica and I'm surprised by what I see. I think she's...sleeping? Her eyes are shut, her breathing looks like it slowed down, and she's laying her head on Tommy's lap. Did Jess really fall asleep during our Paranormal Activity movie marathon? I didn't want to wake her up, not yet anyway. I whispered to Sauli to look over at Jess and he quietly began to laugh. I'm not going crazy. Jessica is literally sleeping. I should ask Tommy to make sure. _"Tommy, do you know if Jessica fell asleep? She seriously looks like she did from over here. You'd be able to tell the best since she's laying on you,"_ I said. Tommy_ looked down on his lap to see Jessica's head. I watched as he looked into her eyes to see if she's faking it. He tried whispering her name quietly in her ear and she didn't move. "Well, I think she fell into a deep sleep. She's completely oblivious to everything right now. I know she would have responded if she was faking it. I know since I tested her by whispering 'I love you' to her. I know if she was awake, she'd be like 'what'. Yeah, she's definitely asleep,"_ Tommy said.

Am I missing something here? Tommy whispered 'I love you' to Jessica? I am so confused right now. I can't tell if he's serious about loving her or not. He could have just said that to attempt to wake her up. Tommy also could have said it because he secretly does mean it. I want to know what that is all about._ "Hey, Tommy. Can I talk to you in the kitchen_ _quickly?"_ I asked. Sauli gave me a weird look so I nodded him and kissed him. He knew that I would be back as quickly as possible._ "Of course, let's go,"_ Tommy said. We made our way into the kitchen. I could hear Amanda and Sauli whispering in the background, trying to figure out what I might be talking to Tommy about. Of course they have no idea I'm going to ask him about if he was serious when he told Jessica that he loves her. I am a little scared for what Tommy might end up saying. If he says yes, then I'll have to try to help him ask Jessica out. If he says no, then things between him and I might become awkward. There's no way out now. I have to ask.

_"Okay, Tommy. I apologize now for taking you away from the movie marathon. There was something you said that really caught my eye. You said that you whispered to Jessica that you love her. Is that the truth or did you do that, just to catch her attention to possibly wake her up? I'm sorry for asking about this, but I want to know what's up,"_ I said. My plan wasn't to startle him like this. I really caught Tommy off guard with my question. He's probably processing all the information right now. This answer could be a changing point, with whichever choice is picked. My nerves are starting to kick in now. Tommy isn't saying anything yet. Does he really not know his intention for it? He could be trying to help me work on my patience. Whatever the case is, I'm all ready to hear what Tommy has to say. He looks like he's ready to speak.

_"You have to promise me that this stays between only me and you. Do you promise?"_ he asked. I nodded, seeing as promising this means that I get the whole honest response. Tommy continued, _"The truth is after your American Idol audition, Jessica and I did something that altered my feelings a bit. It was all after you came out, tricking us into thinking that you didn't get a golden ticket. Once you showed us your ticket, we were all so very happy. I was talking to Jessica because we were so excited for you. We both understood the greatness that could come from you going to Hollywood. Here's where the part where nobody else knows. I was talking to Jessica about maybe ordering a few celebration pizzas. When suddenly, Jessica leaned over at me, looked me in the eyes, and kissed me. I kissed her back, not knowing what I should do in this situation. As she pulled away from me, I felt a spark. The spark was telling me that I should forget about leaving Jessica. It wanted me to keep kissing her. I didn't listen to it because I was nervous. Jessica and I talked about it later, and she later admitted that it was the rush of excitement in a moment. We agreed to just stay friends. Our consensus was that we would keep the kiss a secret and never bring it up again. Adam, when I whispered to Jessica that I love her, I actually mean it. I don't want you to tell anyone about this, especially Jessica. I don't want to get things awkward between us. Besides, she just only wants to be friends with me. Please don't tell on me about the kiss for sure. I really needed to talk to someone about that situation."_

I was not expecting that sort of answer. Oh my goodness. Tommy first told me about the kiss that I wasn't supposed to know about. He went into detail about it too. It was almost as if he was reflecting on it like it just happened yesterday. All it took was that one kiss with Jessica for Tommy to develop a crush on her. This is so cute. There's nothing that would make me happier than if Tommy and Jessica would start dating. I mean seriously, they would compliment each other. They are such great friends already, so it would be kind of less nerve-racking. I know that they know each other fairly decently so they could skip that step about trying to find each other and cross examining.

How to reply back to Tommy now? I know I shocked him earlier with me question. Now he shocks me with his answer. I feel the need to say something._ "Tommy, like I agreed to earlier, I'm not going to tell anyone what was said here. Thank you so much for trusting me with the kiss information. Tommy, if you love Jessica, you should still try to go after her. Maybe the whole friend pact was because she thought that's what both of you wanted. You need to tell her about how you really feel. When you do it, be very sweet and sincere, like you just were when telling me. I feel that there's this undeniable connection between Jessica and you. If you two would seriously start dating, I feel that you guys would last a long time, if not forever. The good thing about you and Jess is that you guys have been friends for a long time. That means that you guys already love each other, but in a different way. Your heart is already open to Jessica because you guys have shared some pretty good and bad memories. That is the same way with Jessica. I'm sure that if you tell her how you feel that she'll give your relationship a chance. There always is the chance of rejection, but doesn't the good outcome overpower the worst one? We all know how Jessica goes. There's nothing that would ever stop her friendship with us. What are you waiting for? Go get her, Tommy. I promise you that it will be worth it,"_ I said.

_"Thank you, Adam. I'll think about it more tonight. I appreciate you giving me a pep talk. I know that I am stubborn. I know that I usually need a little push to get out of my comfort zone. I'm just not good at doing things that I feel I might become embarrassed with. Let's get back to the movie. Again, thank you for talking to me. You might not know it, but you just really helped me organize my thoughts, "_ he said.

We walked back into the living room. Sauli was still sitting down on the love seat, waiting for me to return. I look over to Jessica and she is somehow still sleeping. She is very unaware about how Tommy feels about her. Tommy slipped back to the couch and Jessica moved a little bit. She rested her head on Tommy's shoulder. I wonder if Jessica has ever told Tommy that she's a sleep cuddler. I know she fell asleep on me once and I became like a pillow. That wasn't too bad though. I saw Jessica open her mouth, as if she was going to say something. Of course she didn't. I am really intrigued by the look on Tommy's face. He looks at Jessica and his face lightens up. I can tell that he gets that protective look on. Now everything is starting to make sense a little bit. Tommy does have his reasons for everything he does when it comes to Jessica. If he didn't tell me that he does in fact love Jessica, I know I wouldn't be able to pick up on his signals. Since I do, I feel very knowledgeable. I really hope Tommy expresses his love to Jessica soon. Jessica should know and it will kill me until the secret is out of the bag.


	22. Chapter 21 - Back To Where It Started

Chapter 21 - Back To Where It Started

A few days have passed. Today is the first day that I get to go back to school. The whole fight happened on Monday. I finally get to come back today, which is Friday. The past few days have really been something. Yesterday could have been the day I returned back to school, but I managed to get sick. I had a fever of 101 degrees Fahrenheit. There was so way that Sauli was going to let me go to school for that. Jessica and Tommy have been managing to bring my homework to me when they can. I am really happy that my teachers aren't assigning much homework. This makes it much easier for me to catch up in all of my classes. I easily should be able to be caught up by the end of school tomorrow. I have no idea how to do this math homework so I'll have to ask my teacher to explain what I'm doing. We all know that I hate math and suck at it. It has never been my best subject and it never will be.

Sauli has stayed at my house with me all week. He's going back to school with me, obviously. I feel so bad that I could possibly be getting him behind in his schoolwork. I hope all his teachers are keeping it easy on the homework. Sauli is in a few of my classes but he's not in all of the same exact ones. I have to say that I still am worried about how today will go. I don't want to have a repeat of Monday. That was not a fun day. It was okay until Ben came over to our table and started threatening my Sauli. I'm glad that he's expelled from the school. He was not a good person at all. Even though I don't like him, I still wish him a decent life. For his sake, he better shape up or he'll try being all tough and someone stronger than him will rip him to shreds. I can up with the saying that haters are my motivators. They light my fire that gives me more determination to keep going. I really someday should thank all of them.

_"Adam, are you ready to go back?"_ Sauli asked. I jumped because Sauli surprised me half to death. The last place I saw him in was the bathroom. He must have quietly opened and shut the door. He's now standing right behind me. I sometimes feel that I need to have a tracker on him. Then maybe I will always know where he's at. I'm always scared that he and I are going to be separated. Separated, as in meaning never to see each other again. I understand that in school we can't be together the whole day. That is probably a good thing. Even with me being in a relationship, I don't understand why couples feel the need to have about all their classes the same as their partner. You can always see your boyfriend or girlfriend after school or even before school. It irritates me when people think that they have to spend every second with their partner. It drives me even more insane when they spend all the time in the world with just their partner. They basically "forget" about their other friends and then they don't "have time" for them. Of course, they have time for their boyfriend or girlfriend. That's why I don't let my relationship come between my friendships. I show more effort for my friends than other people do.

_"No, I'm not really ready to go back to school. Sauli, I'm scared. I am scared for not only my own life, but for yours, and all of my other loved ones. I'm so nervous about this that I don't really want to let you out of my sight. It angers me that people want to hurt you. That makes me want to hurt them. I don't see why people like us have to be treated like this. How are we much different than anyone else? I know our preference in who we date and sleep with is different, but that is so much more of a personal thing. The thing I don't get is why do people think it's okay to cheat over you and I dating? Most couples like us don't cheat. We don't feel the need to cheat because we actually love each other. You won't see me going up to another guy and flirt with him when I'm dating you. I'm staying faithful to you when a good amount of couples aren't faithful to each other. I know our relationship is more complicated than others, but you and I are both willing to put effort into it. It doesn't matter to me what other people think about us. Even if my family hated you or yours hated me, I'd still put effort into making us work. Love isn't about what others want or think. Love is the commitment to someone saying that you'll protect their heart. It's when you can 100% believe that your partner is the one you want to grow old with. Love cannot be broken. If you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you obviously didn't truly love them. I hate that the word love is overused. It makes it less special to whoever you say it to. That is really something that annoys me. I really don't want to go back to the real world to where people can hurt you,_" I said.

Sauli came up from behind me and hugged me. I feel so comfortable wrapped in his arms. I can slightly hear him sobbing. Did I say something that upset him or something? I turn around and Sauli immediately pressed his lips against mine._ "Adam, that was one of the most beautiful things that I've ever heard in my entire life. I share your same beliefs on the cheating thing. I had a friend back in Finland that was in a relationship with a girl and he cheated on her. I accidentally came across a few chats and emails of his when he told me to check his email while he went to the bathroom. I didn't let him know that I saw those. In those emails, he was kind of flirting with this girl. I felt bad for his girlfriend at the time, but I was hoping she'd find out for herself. A couple days later, he broke up with her. She was devastated. She couldn't believe that he dumped her, mainly since she was so faithful to him and she thought that things were going great for them. Then within a day, he started talking to this girl more and hanging out with her. In only a week from his breakup, he started dating this girl. When I told his ex girlfriend that he cheated on her with the person he's dating now, she was hesitant to believe me. She asked my friend and he lied. He claimed that he did not cheat on her at all, when I could clearly prove him wrong. That's just horrible that people have to lie about things like that. It's always best to be honest. Adam, we need to go to school though. Trust me, I'll be okay. I think the whole accident on Monday has made more people scared of the principal. He did freak out on Ben, pretty bad if I may say. Come on, let's get going,"_ he said.

I hesitantly nodded and grabbed my backpack. Sauli said that he could drive us to school. He doesn't want me driving until I am fully healed. His story about his friend is so very common in our world now. People don't want to admit to their mistakes. His friend was really the jerk in all the end. Who really gets out of a relationship and gets back into one in just 1 week? That kind of makes his friend look like a whore. There should have been more time before he started dating that new girl. You really can't get over someone in a week. Break ups are meant to make you take a look on what went wrong in that relationship and to mentally prepare yourself for the next relationship.

We arrive to school and are immediately greeted by Tommy, Jessica, and Brittney. Did Amanda decide to skip or something? She usually beats Sauli and I to school. That is weird. Jessica would be the one most likely to know where Amanda is at. I guess I'll ask her later. I have other things to worry about right now. I have to go get my admit slip from the office and get my teachers to write down all what I missed out on. Sauli and I decided to go to the classes we have together first, then split up. It is much easier that way. Jessica and Brittney said that they'll go with me to my other classes and Tommy said that he'll join Sauli. That way we all have at least 1 buddy to be with. That will lessen the chance of a fight starting, or at least it should. With my case, they all knew it was going to happen. They just didn't picture me getting as violent as I did. I usually am a nice guy as they all know. That's why that destructive behavior didn't suit me at all. I must be pretty intimidating then since a lot of people are refusing to give me eye contact.

The first bell has rang, so now I'm going to wait for Sauli to get back over to me. We still do have the same first hour class. I don't want him to walk up there without me. I'm more worried about his safety than mine. There he is! Now we can make our way back to our first hour class. Sauli grabbed my hand as we walked up the stairs. I haven't been here in what seems like forever. I can tell it's a much different atmosphere at the school. Nobody is even daring to say a word to me. I hear no idiotic comments from anyone. They all are kind of just letting Sauli and I be as we are. I like this. The 'if you don't have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all' quote is rushing through my head. I think that's why everyone is so quiet. They are probably worried that if I feel threatened by them, that I will attack or turn them into the principal. Either way isn't bad, I guess.

We get to our class and sit down in our usual spots. The preppier kids actually moved over a tiny bit, so now they are little closer to us. There is still a full empty row separating them from us. I wonder why they decided to move over a row. Did they honestly feel that bad for me or something? I can forgive some of them, but not all of them. There is seriously a few of them that I'm sure are pretty nice. Jessica has talked to some of them personally to see what their problems were with me. She told me that some of them are going to probably apologize to me today. I am really curious to which kids are going to apologize. I can guess a few of them that might. Some of them are probably ones that stopped talking to me back when the rumors about me being gay went around during middle school. Most of them haven't talked to me since then. The horrible part is that a lot of those guys used to be decent friends with me. At the possible thought that I was gay, they shunned me out.

Our first hour class is now over. We just took notes for the whole class time. Since I am amazing at multitasking, I began writing a song. I haven't came up with a title yet. It's about love, as that's how I'm feeling towards Sauli for now and forever. It's time for second hour now. THis is the class that I have Jessica, Tommy, Sauli, and Amanda in. Speaking of Amanda, I still haven't seen her today. I wonder where she's at. We get to the classroom and my eyes are suddenly fixed on Jessica. She's sitting down at her desk. It looks like she's writing something. Maybe it's a love letter or poem for Tommy! Gah, I so want that to be true! Jessica has shown me some of her poems, but none of them she's said are for Tommy. She met this guy at camp a long time ago and his name is Aiden. She has a huge crush on him. It's Aiden to who she claims that her poems are for. Jessica is pretty shy, so when she expresses her feelings through writing is really a beautiful thing. Her poems are really sweet. If she would ever be able to show Aiden all of the poems, I'm sure he'd cry.

_"Hey, Jessica. What are you writing?"_ I asked. Jessica ever-so-slowly looked up at me. Her facial expression shows that she didn't know that she was being watched while writing whatever this is. Jessica's face is flushing in a bright red. Whatever this is has to be really personal or something. I don't see why she'd otherwise blush as bad as she is now. _"Oh, it's just another poem. It's nothing you have to worry about, Adam,"_ she said. Just another poem? When did her thinking about her poems change? Usually she calls it a masterpiece of work and willingly shows me it. This time she quickly grabbed it and put it in her folder. I really want to know what it says now. There's something strange going on with Jessica. I can't put my finger on it quite just yet. I will find out what's bothering her at some point. I am really curious to where Amanda is at. It's not like her to skip school. She rarely gets sick either. I guess she could have an appointment or something. It still seems weird. Weird is really the theme for this week, in my opinion.

_"If I'm interrupting, please just let me know, Jess. There's something I've been curious about all day. Do you know where Amanda is at? I haven't seen her all day today. Come to think of it, she hasn't shown up at my house all week. I was thinking when I was home that she'd come over since you were over. She never did though. Did you two get into an argument or something? I feel as if I'm missing out on something, which makes me that much more nervous. You can tell me anything, Jessica,"_ I said.

Jessica is getting all shaky. She was probably glad I didn't ask this question, which I just ruined that for her._ "It's really a hard situation to explain, Adam. We did get into an argument, like usual. We made up for it, though. She went to school on Tuesday, but she's skipped Wednesday, Thursday, and today. She won't tell me the reason why she's skipping. I think maybe senioritis is getting to her. She had a little freak attack after school on Tuesday. She said she just wanted to be done with high school. She said that she has had enough of the drama within this high school and wants out. I tried to talk to her calmly, saying that drama happens in everyones' lives. She, of course, had to say that she's had it worse than anyone else. I told her that it probably hasn't been as bad for her as it has been for you. That's where our argument took place at. She thinks that she had to win that argument. I later apologized, but I also said that she needs to consider herself lucky that she doesn't get bullied the way that you do. We hugged and worked it out. She still was pretty grouchy about the whole thing. I've tried texting her to ask her if she's coming to school, but she doesn't reply back. It makes me worried, Adam,"_ Jessica said.

Jessica started crying a little. I could tell that she's not happy with all of this mess with Amanda. This isn't the Amanda that she's been used to. Amanda has usually been a very happy person, or at least she acts like it. I went down on my knees to give Jessica a hug. She's still in the desk and I know that she wasn't going to leave that desk. Seeing Jessica cry does hurt me a little. She is my big sister in a lot of ways. I just wish I could make everything better for her. _"It's okay, Jessica. I'm here for you and so is Tommy, Sauli, and Brittney. If you want, we can go to Amanda's house and visit her after we're done with school. Maybe she'll open up about what's bothering her if there's more of us. We never know if it could just be a problem with you that she's afraid to tell you. In that case, I can talk to her alone. I know how she is likely to tell anyone else that's not you her problems with you. I know that hurts you and I'm sorry. We'll get this figured out, I promise. Please, stop crying."_

Jessica eased out of her sobbing. Tommy came over to her and hugged her. I could hear him whispering to Jessica that she is never alone. Tommy said that he will always be here for her, no matter what the problem is. This is so sweet. He just kissed Jessica on the cheek! Oh my gosh, did that just happen? I know they aren't dating but that still was sweet of him. Tommy would be perfect for Jessica. He could give her the love and support she needs. He could take care of her. If Tommy would rack up the guts to tell her how he feels, they might just end up together, forever. It's time for class to start. Tommy had to go back to his desk, which is right beside Jessica's anyway.

It's time for the best time of the day, lunch! Even though the school's lunches usually taste bad. I love this time because I get to hang with all my friends. Every now and again, there's kids coming over to me to apologize. They are the ones who I thought it was going to be. I'm obviously not going to trust them all right away, but I maybe can be their friends. We finally get to see Brittney! We don't really have an morning classes with he. Come to think of it, I don't have any classes with her. Jessica has Brittney in band and in study hall. She seems like a really nice girl though. Jessica and Brittney are seeming to get really close lately. I think Brittney really likes me and Sauli being together. She also is with Jessica on equality and such. Plus, she likes seeing two guys make out. I don't see how they find that amusing but oh well.

_"Hey, Brittney. Would you like to come with us to check up on Amanda? We could probably use all the people we can get to try and see what's up with her. It could also give us a little more time to get to know each other more. I know you and Jessica are fairly close, but Tommy, Sauli, and I aren't that close to you. I think we could all be best friends, so what do you say?"_ I asked.

_"It sounds like a plan, haha. I think we could get close too. It doesn't help that I don't have classes with any of you guys, except for Jess. I want you to know that I support you and Sauli completely. I hope after school we can get to know each other more. You all seem like sweet people!"_ Brittney said, happily.


End file.
